THE WRITINGS OF 2017

Please note: the editing "mistakes" are on purpose!

Reading can also be a visual experience

 

 

THE NEED FOR RESEARCH

Or

THE ROLE OF OLD ARCHITECTS

It is very easy to do things. Most things you do in life will cost you money. The benefits of doing things might be political, economical, spiritual, emotional, or heaven forbid, a total disaster. So, it is probably a good idea to try and understand why you are doing something, and what you hope to achieve from it.

Decades ago, when I was still a young architect, our Government asked me to coordinate the feasibility studies for a new Namibian naval base.

We spent five years in research before the actual planning and construction of the base started. We consulted with local and foreign experts.
                          We asked economists, accountants, planners, politicians, military leaders, engineers, scientist,                            
                      and the public to comment and write recommendations. We asked experts of all fields how to best solve identified problems. We conducted many different studies and exposed the results to enable feedback from all interested parties.
          We rationally analyzed not only coastal environmental conditions and military scenarios, but even the capital and monthly running costs, down to the salaries of the cleaning staff.

The development of the facility at all times was completely logic, and as such, extremely cost effective. Not once was anything considered, built, or equipment bought that does not form a critical piece in the overall puzzle.                           The project proved that research in the form of proper in-depth feasibility studies is                                      
critically important for the proper functioning of any government or society.

Unfortunately, recently feasibility studies in Namibia have become a complete waste of paper and money. Preconceived projects large and small are approved everyday all over our country, purely for political or economical reasons. But what about all the other related issues? How do these projects affect the sense of reality for our citizens? How do these projects impact environmental conditions, the local and regional economy, and the provision of services? How does the project fit into the overall master plan for the development of our country? How does
           the project affect the existing structures of a place and its society? How does the project fit into the priority needs list of an area and a society? There are so many questions that must be considered, and should be answered. Is the current financial crisis in Namibia not good enough proof of my statement?

Politicians pretending that they have all the wisdom and understanding are just as fatal as critics that complain about everything simply for the sake of complaining. Neither party is thinking. We need to make serious research and critical liberal thought part of Namibian culture, if we want to stop building disastrous projects that affect our society negatively for long periods of time.

And, this is the role of us old architects.                        Let the young design and build, while we sit back and do the critically important research and thinking work.

 

 

NAMIBIAN CULTURE

Capitalism is on the brink of disaster

Consumerism is making way for the Namibian way

 

We are taking off our shiny shoes

Giving up the rat race that we cannot win

We would rather starve in the desert

Than create a life that will only satisfy the greedy

 

We are returning to our roots

We are returning to the land

And our goats

 

We are returning to our homestead

At the bore hole

With our wind pump

 

We are returning to the food cooked on the fire

And where our beds are on bricks

Because we believe in the Tokkeloshi

 

Capitalism is lost

Consumerism has no heart

Industrialization is the wrong answer

Namibians believe in self reliance.

 

THE INEVITABLE “BEAUTY” OF SKYSCRAPERS

This morning I overheard a young, but very successful local businessman, explain to two young ladies the incredible benefits of building skyscrapers instead of the four storey buildings presently allowed in our town. The arguments he used were all related to a quality of life and the enjoyment of space by the inhabitants. He did not once mentioned that skyscrapers are a developer’s financial dream because you can fit more square meters of sellable space onto a prime piece of land.
                                              More square meters equal more profit.

It must be said that the young businessman never studied architecture, although he sounded like an architectural expert. If he cared to study architecture he would have known that buildings of more than three storeys do not affect the psyche of humans well (or perhaps he knows it, but prefers to ignore the fact for the sake of profit).

It is a fact of evolutionary psychology that the deep sensory and emotional structures of humans have not changed much since the Stone Age. Needs that were shaped thousands of generations ago continues to be felt subjectively, even if it is no longer necessary for survival or reproduction.
                      Humans instinctively need to relate to the ground. When humans lose their subconscious link with the ground, they build up stress. It is true that stress can be controlled consciously,
but in the long term it will seriously affect happiness and even health.

Modern Western “civilization” is strange in this way. If westerners were asked to choose between happiness/health and profit, they would normally choose profit. Money has become the new almighty god that can fix all, including happiness.

In the modern consumerist world happiness and health are considered as very profitable commodities. So actually, the less subconscious happiness the average man in the street experiences, the more profitable he becomes. Physiologists make money out of him, travel agents sell holidays to him, airlines sell tickets to exotic locations to him, while he spends his life in prison paying off his debt to the skyscraper developer, etc. The provision of an eventual heart bypass operation is also a realistic and profitable option for the medicine man.

While overhearing this young man explaining his dreams to the two beautiful women that absorbed every wise word from his mouth, while staring deep into his blue bank account eyes,                        I realized what a fool I have been all my life.
                          Square meters sell. Quality of life does not sell. “Quality of life” has become like religion. Sharp business men know how to throw the idea to the frustrated masses, and make fortunes.

In the modern world of consumerism, many professionals practice their professions purely as profit making commodities. But, the “Truth” has never been a commodity. An architect that honestly believes in quality of life will most probably always be rather poor. Much work and money, he will probably never have!

Would I like to design a skyscraper?

Skyscrapers can at most be egocentric pieces of abstract sculpture.
                                Skyscrapers never have anything to do with the wellbeing of people, other than that of the developer. So, my ego says yes, but my mind and heart says no. That is a two against one vote against designing buildings like that.

But,                    the businessman was correct in one thing.
                                 Just like the destruction of our planet by a small percentage of greedy humans has become inevitable, so it has become inevitable that profiteering will change the face of our quaint little village along the south western coast line of Africa.

 

 

NAM LOVE

Our mass media often celebrates the macabre

Of life in Namibia

Corruption, recession, poverty, murder, violence, greed……

True, there is a broken biscuit in every packet

 

BUT

 

Namibia is still the smile on the face of Africa

Many beautiful tribes, a nation in its adolescence

And like a naughty teenager,

We got carried away by the glitter of independence

 

Still, the emotional roots of most

Is in the good

In the traditional rural values

Of freedom, respect and the magic of love

 

WHAT IS IT THAT WE ARE ALL LOOKING FOR?

Most of my friends have experienced quite a bit of life. Most have been married and brought up children. Some have experienced love, lust and divorce.                Somehow, I have the feeling that we are all going around in circles looking for something.                                  And I can only wonder if that “something” is basically not the same thing in the majority of cases.

I should not talk about what others might need. I can only state what I am seeking, and that might enable others to compare their needs with mine. Perhaps what I seek is unique, and then my friends can prove that I am crazy or a pervert. So be it! I will rest assure that although it is very difficult, I have tried to be completely honest, no matter the consequences.

They say the shortest road between point one and point two is not necessarily a straight line. And so it is with life. Reaching that “something” seems to be as difficult and elusive as catching a raw egg yolk with your bare hands.

I love to have interaction with people. I cannot live without it. But I do not enjoy interaction with other people that is structured in any way. The interaction I seek, must be completely free, and should only be based on respect.

Long ago I built a place.
                           Many of us lived there, some for short periods of time, some us for very long. You found a bed in a corner and made yourself comfortable. Many people shared one open air toilet and two open air showers. Privacy did not exist.
                           Ownership of property was virtually non existent. There was a fire place, a braai, two Cadac gas stoves and a few pots for cooking.

People came and went as they pleased. There were no rules and no regulations. Modesty and nudity was natural. Relationships between the people were completely fluid and without any moral judgments or rules. People got together, shared emotions and sex as was determined by the moment and the needs. There was no price for staying. People stayed as long as they wished, and putting a donation in the pink tin towards the running costs of the place, was totally voluntary.

It is interesting how well people can actually live together when you understand ownership of property for the ridiculous notion it is, and rather manages to base your life, and relationships, purely on respect. Creativity and the arts flourished. For nearly seven years this place existed.                                  I cannot speak for all the other people I shared that period and experience with, but I will always remember it as one of the most incredibly beautiful and free periods of my life.

Unfortunately, society cannot allow such “festering wounds of anarchy”.       
                                                 Society wrote laws to regulate our little place of freedom. People staying needed to book in and register, they needed to pay a predetermined price for facilities that were up to a predetermined standard, and we needed to pay monthly taxes to the people that imposed these ridiculous rules on our freedom and fun. If not we would be fined twenty thousand dollars or two years in prison.

I would not be honest if I deny that I miss the freedom of that time. I miss just sitting next to the fire with people that truly want to be there with me. I do not mind exchanging my time, my energy, my thoughts and my passions freely on the open market of human relations. I do hate the idea that people think they can buy my time, my energy, my thoughts and my passion with a few dollars, as if I am a prostitute.

Let me emphasize that it is not the women I loved, or the children I have brought up, that took away my freedom. 
                                  Truth be told, then it is family life that kept me going through these dark ages of slavery. It is society with their laws, regulations, punishments and taxes that destroyed my freedom, and has given me nothing in return, not even security and/or protection

 

 

SUICIDE

 

My eyes saw the new smart phone

The warmth of its beauty swept me off my feet

My head told my heart “let it go”

But my heart told my head ”this time no, no, no”

 

My eyes saw the new red sports car

The warmth of its beauty swept me off my feet

My head told my heart “let it go”

But my heart told my head ”this time no, no, no”

 

My eyes saw the letter from the bank

The harshness of the threat swept me off my feet

My head told my heart “run for your freedom baby, run”

But my heart told my head ”it is too late!”

 

TEENAGE CUCKOLD

It is not easy to tell stories of when you were a young fool, but the atmosphere around the fire was special. Our stomachs were full with good potato soup and our brains were pacified with good wine.                                      I simply could not resist telling my story.

“When I was at school there was this incredible girl. She had long black hair, dark eyes and was as pretty as a flower. She was one of the academical stars at school, she was a chosen leader, a good athlete and even sang in the school choir.                      All the boys were in love with her, but it was I who managed to ask her to be my girlfriend and she agreed.                      We exchanged pendants, and I was allowed to carry her schoolbag for her”.

“My life was sorted” I continued. “We were in love and we experimented with kissing and some other minor sexual transgressions, as was allowed at the time. I was going to study to become a priest in the local Calvinist church, and she was going to study law. In my mind, and as was ordained by the values of society, we would then get married, have two kids and live happily ever after”.

“I remember her” Charles said. “She married into a good family, became a successful professional, is a pillar of society and the church, and wears pearl earrings.”

“One Monday morning one of my friends asked me if I was aware that she sat in the back of the choir bus, and was kissing another boy. I asked my girlfriend about it, and she just laughed it off as idle gossip, and not the truth.
                                 I believed her until several months later when she dropped me for her new official serial monogamy youth choir boyfriend that she eventually married”.

“That girl was really nasty to you!” Dee Dee exclaimed

“I do not think she was” I replied. “I think it was the society that imposed on us the abnormal values of exclusivity and cheating. It was society that was nasty to us both. I have traveled and searched the world since then, and have not as yet found a couple that is, and has been truly monogamous.                    The idea of monogamy is a strange concept created by humans and not by God.
                                   Why monogamy is so important to society, especially when you consider how much heartache it causes, is very difficult to understand. Why do we not teach our children the truth rather than concepts that are so unnatural to their basic human needs?
                                               What kind of parents are we if we cannot trust our children with the harsh realities of life? Why on earth should she not have had several intimate friendships at the same time? Why did everybody snigger at me because she wanted more out of life than what only I could provide?
                                                           Just imagine how much simpler and richer life would have been if we as kids considered it completely normal to either have only one, or two or several boyfriends or girlfriends at the same time”.

“It sounds as if you condone cuckolding” Dee Dee stated with a very naughty smile.

“She did not cuckold me.” I replied rather irritated.
                       “If she cuckolded me she would have shared with me what she did.
Instead the felt the need, like some kind of petty criminal, to deny what she did, and try to keep it secret from me.
              Her actions amounted to some sort of betrayal. Cuckolding is being naughty without betrayal. Did I not some time ago write and article about the importance of being naughty together?” I asked.

“Actually, the piece was also called: Dancing naked with the woman I love” she replied.

“Please repeat what you said in that article” Charles asked

“Betrayal in a relationship must be avoided at all costs.
              Betrayal is an act of the Devil, and spells the end of any relationship, or friendship.
                       Betrayal occurs when you do not make the effort to include the interests of your soul mate in what you are doing.
Where “illicit love” becomes true magic is when it is an act of combined rebellion, or mischief, by the partners involved in a relationship. Such acts of naughtiness strengthen the feelings of camaraderie and passion between partners.
                                            This kind of "illicit love" is an essential ingredient for any great relationship!”

They both looked at me with frowns between their eyes.

“Have you ever cuckolded him?” Charles asked Dee Dee. The twinkle in his eyes will make me wonder for a long time.

“Ag, Charles, what must I say?” she laughingly winked at him.
                “Why is it that the truth never seems true?
                        I believe there is so much more to cuckolding than the obvious.
I promised myself that one day I would say what I have got to say.
         I will say it without rancour or ill feelings, and so I will put many things I have experienced in my life, in their true perspective”.

 

 

THE END OF THE AMERICAN DREAM

 

For two decades we lived by the rules of the American dream

Big flashy buildings

Mercedes for the politicians, Cruisers for the entrepreneurs, sports cars for the youth

Imported suits, smart phones and trips overseas

Business plans that make the Namibian Tokkeloshi cringe

 

Global consumerism tries to manipulate the way our people think.

Sell the American dream

The dollar-god

 

But most Namibians are real.

Most Namibians are Namlovers

Donkey carts, veldskoens, kudu leather hats, Mopani worms and biltong

Hard wearing kaki shirts, goats, sheep and holidays in Etosha

Real beer and steak on the fire.

RELIGION

My parents never went to church. But, they brought me up strictly with the Bible. As a small child my Mother read to me every night out of my most favotire book, (actually my only book) the Children’s Bible.

It was only natural that after school I entered a university for religious studies so as to become a “dominee” in the Afrikaans church. During the first two weeks our professor explained to us where and how the Bible states that we were a superior race, and that the rest of the people in our country were second class citizens.

Easter weekend I went home to the farm. There I told Selina, my Oorlamse Afrikaner nanny that carried me on her back when I was a baby, that I was much superior to her. I asked her to leave the kitchen while I ate the food she prepared for me. “Where do these funny ideas come from Tuffie?” she gently asked me. Tuffie was my nickname on the farm. “Listen Selina, my professor is a wise and very well educated respected man and he proved it to us!” I replied “After all, we believe in God, Christ and the Holy Ghost, while you guys mess around with the Tokkeloshi.” She just smiled at me with lots of love in her eyes.

The evening before I had to go back to university, I realized that none of my clothes were washed and ironed (It was in the days before washing machines). I stormed into Selina’s room, and demanded an explanation. She just smiled at me again in her special way, and told me to ask my clever professor about it.

I could not ask my clever professor about it, so I decided to stop my studies and leave the church. Instinctively I realized that there was something seriously wrong with the logic of everything. Many years later that same church apologized publicly for teaching “wrong ideas”. Cool, no problem! We all make mistakes. But, what are the consequences when the basics of a religion are ridiculed? Will the Creator of the universe come down and hit such people with a great thunder bolt? Or will they be punished with illness and madness?

In this regard, there are two things that worry me greatly. It is when my friends turn religion into a profit making business, and when people use the name of the Creator in vain. Now, both these irritations of mine seem to flourish in the great lands of America.

When you watch American television, ever second sentence you hear is “Oh, my Goooood!” There turns Moses in his grave as Commandment no: 3 is thrown out of the window.

In Afrikaans we call a person that goes around shouting “hallelujah” and blessing other people a “dweeper”. When these “dweepers” also mix in pretendy salvation based on the size of your donation, then I cringe, thinking about what Jesus did with a whip at the temple.

The strange thing about all of this is that I do not think that bad will happen to the people that ridicule the basics of religion. That is something that Selina understood so many years ago. The world is full of good and bad, and so it is. All we can do is to love and to smile. After all, we might find Tokkeloshi sitting next to Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. Who knows?

 

 

SELF RELIANCE

In the economy of the world

Namibia will never be paid properly for our natural resources

High technology is after all the monopoly king

So declares global consumerism and advertising

High technology that we can never create

A prison, if we believe it is better than who we are

 

Namibians are  like the Oryx

Proudly self reliant

Majestic and beautiful

Living simply from the little our dry land has to offer

With wisdom never to be economic slaves

 

Real

 

Namlove

 

Free!

 

BEING A VOYEUR

“Strangeness is arousing” I thought to myself.

“Stop telling us about how society should view passion and lust” my lover challenged me last week. “Tell us about yourself. Tell us about your own experiences with passion and lust”.

                        “Where does one start when you try to talk about yourself?
I asked. It took me many sleepless              
               nights to understand my own basic needs.

“I am basically a voyeur” I eventually said to my friends.

‘Hey man, people get locked up for that” Charles exclaimed.

“The problem with the word voyeur is that it has some very nasty connotations. The most basic type of voyeurism is reading a book or watching a movie. Most people do that. Then there is sitting in a coffee shop and watching other people walking down the street. Most people do that.
                          Then there are situations where you purely by chance see things about other people that you are not supposed to see. That is exciting. Then there might be situations where you watch your loved ones do things that is exceptional and out of the ordinary.
                      It does not matter if it is running the four hundred meters or simply being a sexy flirt. Watching people, and especially your loved ones break barriers, and exceed limitations of whatever kind, are just fantastic. That is a pure drug that makes your emotions fly”.

“What are the nasty connotations?” Charles asked

“There are people that invade the privacy of others on purpose to spy on them. Whether that is done by a government agency, industry or a person, it simply is not acceptable in my mind!
             That is the type of voyeurism I utterly despise.
                           I need to be invited to look.
          I will never forcefully impose myself into another person’s privacy without the consent or invitation from the person I am watching.
                 I even even look away when people kiss each other without explicitly inviting me to watch”.

“Hmmm” mumbled my lover. “Please try to explain it better”.

“I often feel that people invite me to watch them as they would go to a doctor or a fortune teller ... to find out who, or how they are by watching my reaction. So they’re dependent on me. I have to engage them. Otherwise there’s no truth or tension. The concentration has to come from me, and I must be involved with them. Sometimes the force of it grows so strong that other sounds around us go unheard.
                    Time stops.
              We share a brief moment ot intense abstract intimacy.
I say abstract because the moment is not physical and it is not earned.
                             It has no past and no future.
                                         And when the moment is over, then there is nothing left except the memory.
          The memory, and a kind of embarrassment.
They leave, and I don’t know them anymore.
                I’ve hardly heard what they have said because I do not feel that I was really there.
                                 The memory has a reality for me that the people do not.
It is only through that memory that I know them.”

“And that is why I desire you so much” I said to my lover. “Exhibitionists are the food that feed the soul of the voyeurs and visa versa. Voyeurs and exhibitionists make good friends. They give meaning to each other’s lives, desires and dreams”.

"I am not an exhibitionist!" my lover exclaimed with a very naughty smile on her face.....

 

SUSTAINABILITY VERSUS SELF RELIANCE

 

Industry relies on long term sustainable supply and demand

Being “green” is the joke that keeps it all in place

Only for profit for the greedy

 

Advertising creates demand for industry

By stealing your freedom

 

Borrow money to buy

Sign your own prison sentence

Thirty five years of getting up at eight o clock

Rat race, rat race, rat race, twenty days holiday

Job satisfaction, boss shouts at you, pay your debt

 

Namibians says

Better to build your own shack

With only the money you have

Plant your own veggies and look after your own chickens

Because Namibians love freedom

Namibians are proud and real

Namibians are self reliant.

 

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN OLD FRIENDS ABOUT FREEDOM 
 
 "So will our children ever taste true freedom?" Charles asked. "Maybe working for a boss and sacrificing eight hours a day towards the evils of consumerism is the only way that a person can survive is this modern world. Personally, I find it very sad. I find sacrificing your life for a bit of money wrong and unacceptable."

I asked Charles to explain further. "I think that freedom is a natural born instinct and need. I hate zoos as the animals caged up are totally unhappy and I believe that they would rather be out in the wilds taking their chances against the harsh odds."

I decided to throw a dangerous stone into the bush and I interrupted him.
                           "Is it not the moral rules of society that tries to regulate man’s actions by neutralizing the feelings of honest passion and lust for life through subtle indoctrination?

"That would mean that emotional and physical freedom is essential to be able to discover your passions and lust for life” Charles mumbled. “It is true that the values of what was considered right and wrong that was drilled into us as children did not allow us to understand honest passion or lust for life", Charles muttered.                        “Christian nationalism was a terrible evil.                        School was mainly used to install political dogma.                   We were brought up to be the puppets of a greedy regime and cannon fodder for an unworthy war.                    Our moral lives were ruled by being brainwashed that in turn was enforced by the constant threat of physical punishment or being banished from society.” Charles took a sip from his coffee. Then he continued while staring into the distance.           “Since then freedom for me has become like a drug.                 Once I tasted the true meaning of how to live freely, I was immediately hooked and knew that there was no turning back".

"Tell me how you managed to break free,” I asked my oldest friend. Charles just smiled, but did not answer.

I know what he did. 
           Out of the blue, one irrelevant Tuesday morning in the middle of the month, he suddenly resigned from his lucrative bank job.
He took his savings and paid off his house.
Then he started a small self reliant business from home that is based on a passion that he had since I knew him as a kid.
                                                 Is he happy?
                                                                                        I think he is!

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN OLD FRIENDS ABOUT FREEDOM AND DOUBT

 Just before we went to sleep Jenny, lay down in my arm. "I know you agreed with Charles today. But, you are wrong", she said. "I saw Andy getting off the bus this afternoon, returning from his job on the mine and wearing his uniform.
          He was laughing.
                        He was happy.
Not everybody needs the freedom that Charles was talking about to be happy".

"Hmmm... " was all I could say

During the night Henri Miller visited my dreams. He was talking to his irritating friend MacGregor. "Look," Henri said, "it wouldn't matter to me if you were nothing but a bum, you could still be my friend and I yours. You could make fun of everything I believed in, if you believed in something yourself. But you don't. You believe in nothing. To my way of thinking one's got to believe in what he's doing, else all's a farce. I'd be all for you if you wanted to be a bum and became a bum with all your heart and soul. But what are you?"

When I woke up this morning it was clear to me.
                                         Over a breakfast of french toast and filter coffee I explained my thoughts to Jenny. “As long as people rely on a system, they can be happy, but they will not find freedom. You can only gain freedom by honestly believing in self reliance. People that rely on a system for their security will always wonder if they could do it without the support of that system. That is doubt. The moment you doubt is the moment that fear enters your heart. Fear is a very strong negative force. And so, the moment you compromise for the sake of the security provided by any system, you lose all your freedom. For the person that knows the passion and lust for life that only true freedom can provide, doubt is like violently ripping the wings off a bird”.

“Do you also regard marriage as a system that provides a false sense of security and in doing so takes away your freedom and lust for life?” Jenny asked. I realized that this was the critical question!

“Let us wait for Charles to join us and hear his opinion” I replied, smiling while pouring myself some more coffee.

 

 

HOUSING FOR THE LESS PRIVILEGED

 

Something is wrong with what we are doing…..

We are building cement boxes for our less privileged

Paint them all the colours of the rainbow

Row upon row

Too expensive, too small, but favorable to the eyes of foreigners

 

Where are the schools and the clinics?

Where are the market places and the post offices?

Where are the shebeens and the community centres?

 

Namibians want to live

Not exist to pay off debt

Namibians want to have fun

Not just sleep and work

 

Something is wrong with what we are doing…..

 

                                  

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN OLD FRIENDS ABOUT THE PURPOSE OF LIFE ON EARTH AND MARRIAGE

“People set boundaries in their lives so as to create tranquility, cohesion, respect, honor, decency and peace. Even without any form of compelled religion, people whether alone or in groups will set down ground rules for the easiness, security and comfort of others and themselves” Charles said.
                      “If there were no rules, no repercussions for actions or remedial action for people’s basic animal greed and instincts, society would be no better than the barbarians of old, and the environment we live in would be chaos”.

“Some people hate boredom more than security, Charles” I replied. “There are people who cannot resist the desire to get into a cage with wild beasts and use only their wits and talents to avoid being mangled.” I said.                     
           “They go in only with the desire to face their worst fears. Conquering fear eventually makes them fearless. I think such people push relationships to its limit and believe you simply cannot put moral fences around a relationship. For such people traditional marriage simply does not work”.

Charles stood for a moment and scratched his bean.
             He was thinking, evidently. “That brings me to my thoughts on marriage, an institution I believe to be a good one and works well in our society” he mumbled, switching his hand from his head to his crotch.
                        “In my opinion, in the purity of the marriage bond, there is no place for lust towards others outside the marriage. I would see it as unfaithfulness. I would even see it as being humiliating and derogatory towards the other partner. In life a person cannot have all you want and desire, and even more so in a marriage. A person has to sacrifice certain desires and wants”.

“The purpose of life on earth is to discover one’s true capabilities and to live up to it” I replied.
                      “The purpose of life on earth is not about compromising yourself by living through another person, which is what I believe is what you call love through marriage. It is also not about becoming successful or to triumph over your fellow man. It is only about tackling your greatest fears one by one, and fighting those fears with your intellect, physical power and all the talents God gave you”.

                                                                           “When you find freedom through conquering your fears, the happiness in you will create the energy that will naturally attract other people towards you. The desire to simply spend time with each other is what I see as love. So, because love cannot be an honorable duty, the rules and restrictions imposed by a marriage contract do not mean much to me” I concluded.

 

WHAT IS SELF RELIANCE?

Namibians says self reliance is producing

Every day

More then that what you need and buy

And saving the extra for the dry times

 

Producing

Not for a boss

Not for a system

But for yourself and the people around you that you care for

 

Our country

Every family

Every person

 

So we can always live in abundance

 

Gone are the days of sitting on a street corner, wasting time

Waiting for the advantaged to help you

Gone are the days of corruption and stealing from each other

Gone are the days of debt

 

Namibians says be real

Namibians says be free

Namibians says rely on yourself

 

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN OLD FRIENDS ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WISDOM AND LUST (or THERE IS NO FOOL LIKE AN OLD FOOL)

“The problem is that unlike love, lust is an emotion that relies completely on the excitement created by the unknown” I said to Charles as we rested or weary old limbs in the shade of the tree probably older than us.

 

“As I see it, lust is only a youthful desire” Charles replied. “It can be wild, exciting, addictive and very dangerous. Living on the wild side is synonymous with youth, some survive it by pure luck, and others let it destroy their lives forever”.

“I do not think lust is only a youthful desire. It is true that the further you go down the path of life, the less you find that is not known. I think that it is called wisdom, but it certainly makes life rather boring. And, so lust becomes more and more difficult to find”

“When desire turns into lust, it changes the inner sanctity of a rational thinking person” Charles mused while getting up to look for a cigarette. “Lust affects respect, especially towards the person to whom the lust is directed. I have become wise as I have got older and I am glad that I no longer live the frivolous life of youth, as exciting as it was”.

I found a packet next to the open book I had been reading earlier in the day. “Charles my old friend” I said while passing over the packet and the matches. “I think what you are saying is not the truth. I know for a fact that you still miss like crazy the excitement of traveling to unknown places and the experiences the unknown brings. Is that not lusting after excitement?”

Charles smiled while sucking the smoke into his lungs with obvious gratification. “I suppose I do not agree with you that wisdom necessarily creates boredom” he mumbled. “I actually believe that wisdom makes for more excitement in the things we do, because we have learnt how to do it with so much less effort and so much more finesse and intensity”.

“And so it is my old friend!” I exclaimed. “No wonder old fools are often regarded as the most enviable”.

 

FIRST HOUSE

Borrowing money to buy a brick house is to commit to a life prison sentence

 

Namibians start with a shack

The shack must be made self reliant

Catch fish, cook jam, make treasures and sell to the financial prisoners

 

The shack can be high tech

Provide access to international markets

 

The shack will be lightweight and mobile

Namibians will live in communes or be nomadic

 

Like the traditions of the past

Our land belongs to the community

Our land is organized by the wisdom of our elders

Not by the laws of greedy Western consumerism

 

When the nature of things determine the end of a place

Namibians with pack their shack and move along

Leaving no trace or pollution or damage to our land

 

Self reliant adaptability with total respect for land and sea

So say the Namibians

 

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN OLD FRIENDS ABOUT FEAR

 "It is sad to discuss the workings of the Devil" I was thinking. "But we need to consider and understand the negative forces in life."

Charles was a soldier in the war. "Tell me about fear" I asked.

"Sho — what can I say?" he replied. "Not much to say. Not much that I really wish to remember. Fear makes a person cynical. Fear makes you laugh and joke. Fear makes you hate. Fear churns your stomach and dampens you emotions. Fear makes you swallow imaginary spit. Fear makes you wonder why, why, why? Fear makes you forget quickly after fear. Fear fucks up people and some of the unlucky ones never ever are the same again."

I felt groggy and miserable when I got up this morning.
          I did not sleep well.
               Panic chased me around all night.
                                             In the morning I sat down with my coffee and thought about my misery.
I realized that all my nightmares are based on fear.
                  Fear can exist in many forms.
                              We all have big fears and small fears.
                                         I constantly try to kill all these ghosts.
                                                        I need to conquer my fears.
                                                                         I need to expel fear from my soul.
                                                                                        Fear is the voice of the Devil.
                                                                                                       Fear is evil!
                                                                                  Fear destroys passion and lust for life.
Without passion and lust a person has lost his soul and so all his freedom!

"True what you say about fear" I said to Charles later on when we met in the post office. "But on the other hand, there is no other feeling like when you face a fearsome situation and you survive it. That is what it means to be truly alive!"

"What is your biggest fear?" Charles asked.

 
"The relationship with my lover is based on each of us continuously challenging the other" I replied after thinking about it hard and long. "I try to challenge my lover to develop her strengths as a person and as a woman. I challenge her to enjoy her existence and her sexuality honestly and without restrictions or duties. She also challenges me in many ways”.

“That is not what I asked” Charles said.

“I suppose that my greatest fear is that I will not always be strong enough to completely conquer my greatest weakness which is my moral ego." I replied.

“What on earth is a moral ego?” Charles exclaimed

“For each person it is probably something else. In my case it is jealousy. ” I replied.

                                          “Yes, to kill the Devil is what it means to be alive” my old friend Charles mumbled. He turned around and walked home, smiling to himself. He obviously knows me very well…. 

ARCHITECTURAL AESTHETICS

If you live in a prison

You will start to think like a prisoner

If you live in square boxes

You will start to think about life as if it is about square boxes

 

Life is about the essence of being male and female

And all the millions of variations in between

 

Traditionally our people built their stokkiehuis homesteads

To reflect the energies between being male and female

 

The modern industrialized capitalist philosophy

Does not support the natural way of human existence

 

Interesting though, the car industry understood the value of design

That represents the basic understanding of human existence

 

The visual design of four by four bakkies

is masculinity personified in every way

while sports cars

are always about extreme feminine sensuality

 

What has happened to architectural aethetics?

Squares and boxes of every kind. How sad!

 

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN OLD FRIENDS ABOUT CAUSING MISCHIEF

“Why is it that most people are scared to admit, or do the naughty things they truly would like to do?” I asked my friends while sitting around the open fire.

“I think that is why we make friends, or fall in love, with the people we do.
                                                                                     Instinctively we know that the other person will help us, and push us, to do the things we are  even scared to admit to ourselves” Jenny chimed in from where she was busy pouring us some excellent port wine.

“The classic crutch is alcohol” Charles interrupted Jenny. “In essence drinking is not a bad thing if done in moderation. However when one drinks heavily, one’s personality changes and it allows you to do things you normally would not do”.

“Yes, alcohol is a crutch but not a very good one” she replied.
                                            “But, it is much better to let your friends push you to do the mischief that is in your heart. That way you keep their support, their trust and their love”.

“Have you not pushed me to do some very radical things in the past by telling me little white lies?” she suddenly challenged me with a very naughty smile.

“I did”.

“Did you do it on purpose”..

“Yes, I did”.

“Why” she asked.

“Because I knew from the moment I met you what you need to feel alive “ I said.
                               “I care for you, and love you, and so I need to see you feel incredibly alive from time to time.
         It is only when you break the rules and cross the boundaries of mediocrity that everything about you becomes pure art.
                             So, yes, I will continue to push you.
                                                                      And, I will again tell you white lies to provide you with the emotional alibis you need”.

“But, why” she asked, frowning.

“Because in a very perverse way, when you dare to cause mischief, it makes me feel like the strong man I would like to be, and that makes me happy!”

A very good old friend that knows me well and shared a glass or two of wine with me, long ago, told me that I am "pussy-footing" around with what I am writing... that my writing shows fear... Well "M", this one is for you!!

 

YOUNG NAMLOVERS THINK

Virtual reality

The concept of the youth

 

Virtual reality is much more than a dream

It questions existence

 

Suddenly a brick is no longer a hard cube

Plastic no longer plastic

And concrete no longer a hard grey material…

 

The way our parents regarded reality

No longer is

 

The way we have known the world to be

During the last two centuries

Will change beyond recognition

In the next two decades

 

The Namibian youth is rewriting self reliance,

reality, existence and freedom

It is incredible!

 

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN OLD FRIENDS ABOUT THE FACT THAT SOME PEOPLE DO NOT LUST

“Not all people lust” Charles said. “Not all people are the same. I would go as far to say that of those who lust, men and women, all perceive and experience and control it in very many different ways”.

“The thing about lust is that it makes the receiver feel like a million dollars.
                                                                       It is probably the greatest experience anybody can receive. 
                          Being lust after creates energy that makes nuclear bombs look like nothing.
                                     That is what it is all about.
                                                      It is the thing that makes people feel alive.
                                                                  Pure and simple” I replied.
“The event usually starts with you showing your desire with an honest compliment given without shame or fear. If the other person replies in kind, you can raise the stakes by teasing and creating jealousy. It is a game and lust will follow naturally. The beauty of lust is the alluded promise. Promises can last forever, or until it is fulfilled or death does us part. Perhaps that is why the Christian Bible warns us against it” I said with laughter in my voice.

“In my opinion the lust you talk about is only the sexual lust” Charles replied. “It is not material lust because then only one party would be involved”.

“The need for material things is a desire, Charles, it can never be a lust. Tell a car it has incredibly beautiful tires and it will not respond. Tell the lady that serves you your hamburger in the Wimpy that she has incredibly beautiful hands, and just see what happens. An incredible reaction will be ignited, guaranteed!”

“With sexual lust, I would think you would be correct in what you say, but only regarding a certain segment of the world’s population” Charles replied.
                             “People can fall in love by many other ways, through similar likes and interests, familiarity, culture events, security and looks.
                                              I really do not think that everyone walking around the streets and malls is lusting after someone or having someone lust them – it is just not happening.
                                                                                                 I will also go further and say that the sexual lust side of life is in certain cases overrated.
                                                   Lust can also become a problem if it becomes obsessive in the mind of a person, just as money, food, alcohol and the likes”.

“Listen to what I am saying Charles” I replied in earnest.
                                                                “Love is also only a desire.
                                                                                   I am not talking about love.
Creating lust is the physical compliment taken to the point where it becomes an art form.
Nobody is immune to the game of lust.
You can crack the most sour old cow or donkey with a smile and an extraordinary compliment.
And once they are cracked you can take the promise as far as you want.
It is true that we live in a society where the art of lust is scarcer than chicken teeth!
And yes, I do understand that you think we live in a rather sad and uncultured society.
                                                But, that is not always true”.

“It is completely true what you are saying” Jenny chipped in. “But, you must remember that women and men use different weapons in this game”.

“Tell us?” both me and Charles shouted.

Jenny simply smiled.

Typical woman, I thought to myself. Master warrior with secret weapons of mass destruction!

 

CONSUMER HOUSING VERSUS SELF RELIANT HOMES

Namibians believe that any object bought

Must help the person to produce more than what they need to spend

 

As such, all objects bought becomes tools

Not for the show, but to be put to work.

 

A home is much more than a housing object

A home is the place where the family lives

 

A home is the base from which a family battles with the world

And creates its own independence

 

A home helps and supports the family members to be strong

While consumer housing sucks the inhabitants dry

 

Namibians say, forget about building housing

Allow Namibians to create their own homes

 

Use the well known traditions of the old communal homelands

And not the ideologies of industrialized urban consumerism.

 

CHRISTIAN-NATIONAL BOERE, OORLAMSE AFRIKANERS AND THE BIBLE. 
One cannot choose where you are born. I was born in the maize triangle of the Free State. Christian-national education was at the order of the day. On Thursdays we attended school in full military uniform, drilled with rifles and did target practice with live ammunition. My forefathers taught us that the Holy Bible said we were white and the others were black. We whites had to hate communists and Catholics and shoot blacks.

When I was in grade two Braam Fischer was imprisoned.
He was a lawyer just like my Oupa, and I heard my Oupa talk excitedly about it over Sunday lunch.
                         It was obvious that the problem agitated my Oupa.
I asked my mother about it.
She only shook her head and said that she did not understand it.
She however asked me to promise her that, like my Oupa, I would never stop asking questions about what is right and wrong.

When I was a young man my forefathers gave me a gun.
They told me to kill everything they considered "communist".
My logic told me that if the so-called "communists" got angry because I was shooting at them, then they might start using me for target practice.
                         I did not think that was a good option, so I gave my gun back to my forefathers.
My forefathers did not think that was nice of me and called me a traitor.
                        I was told that if they catch me they would put me in prison for many years because of something they called military treason.

I decided to run away.
I crossed the border to a place where I was relatively safe.
There I met people that spoke the same language as what my mother taught me.
                              But, although we spoke the same language and looked basically the same, these people did not distinguish between black and white.
                                   Best of all was that none of these people I met were shooting at each other.

When I asked the elders of these people why they did not think like my forefathers, they just laughed and told be about the extreme difference in the history of the Boere Voortrekkers and the Oorlamse Afrikaners.

Interesting how the love between men and women can change the way we interpret the same Christian Bible.

And so I found peace in my life.
                    I never learned how to shoot a gun.
                                     I married a Catholic woman.
                                                   My three boys speak German, English, Afrikaans and a little bit of Ovambo. We do not attend church, but spend a lot of time talking about God, the universe, the meaning of life and the relationships between people.

I think my boys have earned the right to call themselves proud Oorlamse Namibian Afrikaners, and I think that is okay!

 

CONSUMERISM VERSUS EMOTIONS

Consumerism is only about the physical

How things look

Or what things represent

The ego

 

Namlove is about the emotional

The Tokkeloshi always in the back of our minds

Right and wrong

The feelings of other person takes priority

 

Always…..

 

Love

Real and honest

Totally free

 

And so we create the world around us also.

 

BIRDS BORN IN A CAGE THINK FLYING IS AN ILLNESS.

It is impossible for one person to provide another with all the emotional, physical and financial support all of us need.
                                  And, so, it is very seldom that you see couples that have been together for many years that are still madly in love.
                                  When you see that, you do wonder how on earth that got that right.

Most couples either descend into a mindless habitual rhythm of boredom, or otherwise choose to practice the only other available option ….. Serial monogamy.

I see many kids growing up without their dads. Sure, the dad comes around and brings them presents, but I see their bicycles giving trouble and nobody there to sort it out for them.

I also see some of my divorced friends in total denial that they spent the best, and sometimes hardest but most exciting times of their lives with their ex’s.
                       They hate their ex’s because the ex dared to live out a basic need in their lives without their explicit permission.
                                                        A permission that they never would have given in any case because of their own crazy egos.

Serial monogamy (a monogamous marriage, then a divorce, another monogamous marriage, another divorce and so on) has become the socially accepted norm in our society. However, the real consequences of serial monogamy are totally ignored because the children that must carry the heaviest burden have no voice, and according to the parents, apparently no pride. I do realize that my opinion on this matter will not make me many friends, but personally I regard serial monogamy as a total cop-out by people that lack strength of character. When you commit yourself in marriage, you are supposed to love the other person for better or worse. You are thus supposed to love your own ego less than the needs of the other person, whatever those needs might be. It means that one must allow the relationship to develop naturally and honestly to what it wants to become, without ever compromising the physical, emotional and financial security of a home for the kids. Relationships might sometimes develop into something “socially unacceptable”, but that is okay. It does not matter. Putting it in simple words… it is preferable for kids to grow up with two dads or a mother and an auntie rather than none.

It would make life so much easier if our social rules naturally promoted general happiness through a normal mutual acceptance for the strange subconscious needs of the other person trying to counteract his or her boredom.
                                  The ridiculous heartbreak involved with divorce makes nobody happy.
                                                               Allowing and helping the person that is your partner to find happiness (no matter what it takes) could avoid so much heartache!

Unless we are willing to let go all the silly egocentric rules imposed on us and our relationships by society and the law, most of our relationships are basically doomed from the start.
                                                                              That is as sure as the sun rising tomorrow morning.

Ultimately, no person can be responsible for the happiness of another person.
                                  However, you must allow the other person to find their own happiness.
                                                     Any method used to stop another person from finding their own happiness is a sin, and ultimately it will be the kids that will carry the burden for that sin.

 

DEVELOPING A PROPERTY

Most people, when they get a piece of land

Dream of the amazing villa they will build

A lifestyle of leisure

A place out of an American magazine

 

Namibians knows that is nonsense

Namibians know that such a dream does not bring happiness

Namlovers knows such a dream is not real

Namlovers knows self reliance is the future

 

How does one make a piece of land self reliant?

That is the big question all Namlovers ask

Looking at the abilities of the future inhabitants

And how the property can enhance these abilities.

 

That is reality

That is the future

Thast is Namlove

That is Namibian 

 

HIS LOVER

We are all at the mercy of many different people inside us. Particularly those that society fails to sterilize when we are young.

She came from a good upper middle class family.
She was a model child.
She was a good student.
At university she met a successful young business man.
She was the model fiancée and then the model bride.
She was the model wife and model mother.
Her husband offered her nearly all that a wife could ever want.
They lived in a big house with a huge garden and a swimming pool.
They went on holidays to exotic places and Europe.
The kids went to the very best private schools.
She drove a big four by four and servants cleaned her house.

But, she read Lady Chatterley’s Lover when she was young
        and then Running with the Wolves when she was older
                                                 She always wondered what it must be like…..

He was a well educated angry rebel without a cause, or a future.
He drank like a fish, swore a lot and always started outrageous arguments.
From the moment she met him at a drunken cocktail party she made him her lover.

One weekend she and he drove out to a nearby farm. A hippie artist friend of his lived on the farm. It was clear from the moment they arrived at the farm that his lover liked the hippie. They laughed and joked with each other.

It was a stifling hot afternoon in the desert. They sat on the verandah and drank beer. It was just a matter of time before somebody suggested that they jump in the farm dam.
            Neither he nor she had swimming costumes.
   She went around the corner of the building and took off all her clothes and jumped into the pool naked.
                                                                  He and the hippie artist followed.

 
 The water was salty, and so there was not too much algae in the water. When they got tired of swimming they hung onto a raft.
           She and the hippie were touching each other under the relative visual protection of the water.
She teased the hippie, and soon they were mock wrestling.

Later, back on the verandah, she and the hippie went to the kitchen to prepare coffee. She was wrapped in a big towel. The two of them disappeared into the hippie’s private studio for a long time. When they returned she asked him if he would mind if she stayed the night on the farm.
                              She asked him to return to town on his own and to fetch her the next day because she had no other transport.
                        Jealousy got the better of him and he refused.
He and she returned together.
They did not speak a word on the trip back to his place and the rest of the weekend was spent in silence.
By refusing her freedom he showed the weakness of jealousy and possessiveness.
Her fantasy was not jealousy and possessiveness but freedom.

The next weekend she could not visit him. However, she did arrive unexpectedly at his place on the Saturday afternoon. Within minutes he had her undressed, only to find her clean shaven. He knew that she was very proud of her “natural” look, so he asked. She told me that she was spending the weekend with the hippie and the hippie did not like hair.

                          When he tried to make love to her she said that he could only kiss her. This weekend her most                               treasured gift was reserved for another. She was intent on teaching him that she was                                            free to do what she wanted, with whom she wanted, when she wanted and how she wanted.

Soon after she put her clothes back on and went back to the farm.
Sometimes she visited him and they again became outrageous.
Sometimes she visited the hippie.
Most of the time she lived with her husband and her kids that she loved more than all the other men together.

There is not much of a moral to this story other than that Lady Chatterley’s Lover  and Running with the wolves are very powerful books.

RELATIONSHIPS

I see a young married couple

 

 

He a young man with a dream

Wet behind the ears

 

She wanting only to be his missus

Two kids in the future and hopefully no divorce

 

Namlovers says it is an antiquated bull shit view of relationships

Namibian women and men are always equal

 

Every person must become self reliant

In work, responsibilities and pleasure

 

Relationships must be based on the equality

Of rights, privileges and income generation

 

Only trough self reliance can fear and guilt are destroyed

and love can prosper.

 

THE LOVE COMMUNE

He and she both ran away from the security of well to do and important families in far away lands.
He and she went away to seek the excitement of freedom.
He loved her completely and she was a language teacher for adults.
She only accepted young men to teach.
Never women.
She did not like women.

The atmosphere in their house was relaxed.
       The language students had free access to the house and some of them were always around.
                 She, being a free spirit, usually wore only a tee shirt and panties.
                            Sometimes he would dare her to go without panties.
                                         She often left the door open when she bathed.
They loved to go to a secluded beach with some students for all to swim and play soccer on the beach, naked.

One evening a young man stayed very late working on a project. It was decided that the young man could sleep in the lounge.

That night, in bed, she and he could not fall asleep. It was as if the atmosphere was charged. They talked about all sorts of things, rolling around and trying to avoid the inevitable.
                                                Suddenly he asked her if she wanted to go to the lounge and make love to the student. She said she was not sure. He asked her to let him feel what her body thought about the matter. Her body told the truth. He told her to go, but also pleaded with her to come back.

A bit later he walked down the passage and peeped into the lounge.
She was sitting on top of the young man and riding him in total abandoned ecstasy.
Her naked body looked incredible in the moonlight.
The young man was caressing her breasts.

Later she came back and cuddled up peacefully in his arms.
She smelled like the sea on a very stormy night.
He knew he was supposed to be upset with her, but the truth was that he desired her more than ever before. He loved her sense of freedom more than ever before.

A beautiful baby boy was born.

Her best friend came to visit from the far away lands.
Her friend decided also to stay.
He fell in love with her friend.
They all lived together.
The male students still came and went.

Another boy and two girls were born.
Nobody knows if they are brothers and sisters, half brothers and half sisters or not related at all.
It does not matter much because they all grew up in an environment of incredible love and harmony.
The kids were always treated as unique persons in their own right, and not as property to be fought over in a divorce court.
                  Many male students loved and looked after the kids, and taught the kids what they knew best.

I asked him and her if they think the kids were happy with the strange situation they grew up in.
              My question made them laugh. “We ran away from the perfect lives our parents created for us.
                        We thought our parents were radically conservative, and did not understand the true meaning of life.
                                 Why should our kids not feel the same about us?” she asked.

 

ARCHITECTURE

Modern technology killed photography

Every second tom dick and harry has a fancy digital camera and does it

 

Modern technology has killed the visual arts

Every second tom dick and harry has a photoshop and creates pictures

 

Modern technology has killed literature

Every second tom dick and harry writes and publishes their own crap (including me)

 

Modern technology tried to kill architecture

But it only succeeded in watering it down… not kill it

True, there is a plan drawer and a compromised businessman architect on each corner

But architecture is not about plans and making money

It is about creating incredible shelters

It is about a very long and intense study of space

The relationship between spaces, the character of spaces, the atmospheres it creates

and its effect on humans

 

That is architecture!

 

SECRETS

They both grew up in ridged families that believed strongly in the values of their societies. She was a red and he was a blue.                                                  We all know that red and blue does not mix….. ever!

They both cut a hole in their society’s fence and committed treason.
                            Treason burns the bridges.
                                              The world outside the fence was one of free love, drugs, sex and rock music. They met and fell in love.
                    They became lovers and tried gallantly to uphold the values of their new free reality.

For many years they carried a terribly big secret in her hearts.
                  Betrayal.
                                                                 Not of the world they escaped from, but of each other.

They realized that there is a serious conflict between the security of love and the expression of freedom.
Every time she became unsure of the devotion of her man, she would accept the company of another.
Her man was not a cuckold.
He was terribly jealous.
His jealousy stemmed from the fear of losing something very precious to him.
That something precious was a relationship that he needed and loved.
He did not like to share what was most valuable to him.
When he imagined his lover in the arms of another his heart gave a leap.

When he expressed his jealousy, his lover always told him not to be jealous.
                        Her voice assured him that they will share lots more intimacy even though they dared to be free and independent sometimes.
                                                  Her voice gave him the power to be strong. Her voice gave him the power to believe in their relationship. Her voice gave him the strength to control his jealousy and to dare her to be even more independent and liberal in her interaction with others.

But, the burden of apparent betrayal they carried in their hearts remained like the haunted house on the edge of town.
                  Then, they started talking their way around the big secret without ever mentioning it by name.
                It was like a chess game of admitting the truth without ever admitting anything, and trying to prove that the truth did not matter to them, without ever mentioning the truth.
             Through this highly complex game of words with double meanings, the burden of perceived betrayal was lifted, and the traitors became heroes.

The time came that they again had to cut a hole in the fence and again commit treason.
                                                This time to find the freedom to love only by their own standards.

And so, their relationship has found relative peace.
Their physical relationship has become emotionally intimate.
Often when they go to bed, they will cuddle up really close.
They laugh often about all the silly or erotic happenings of the day.
Sometimes they fall peacefully asleep holding hands.
Sometimes she touches him and plays with him.
Not always to have sex.
Not always for that all important American mass media orgasm.
But, only to play with him, and to show him how much she enjoys him.
                     She likes to be in charge, so she will allow him to touch her intimately, sometimes just a little.
Sometimes much, much more.
She knows how much he enjoys it to kiss her all over.

It is peaceful on the little island where he and she now live.

He did however, once or twice, notice Raka on the other side of the island. He knows Raka well. Raka the rugged virile male. Raka that lives only for freedom. Raka, the lover of females. Raka the adventurer that gives excitement and pleasure without asking anything in return. Raka the mysterious. Raka, the embodiment of the soul of Africa.

He knows her biggest weakness. As long as she did not notice Raka, all will be well. So far so good………

 

WHAT NAMIBIAN PUNK ARCHITECTS DO …..

 

The general perception is that you go to an architect with your ideas

The architect will convert your amazing  ideas into plan form

The architect will take care of the legal issues and contracts

And charge you lots of money

 

That might be what most architects do…..

And that might be what Wikipedia says that architects should do

But, that is underground architectural punk bullshit!

 

The clothes you wear are your primary protection and influence on your mood

The space you are in is your next layer of protection and mood creator

 

If you understand the importance of the atmosphere the space you are in creates

And how it subconsciously affects your moods, passions and desires

And that of the other people around you

Then you understand Namibian architecture

 

 
 
SELF RELIANT ARCHITECTURE

Some countries in Europe are in need of energy

Their Governments made is fashion to have solar and wind energy 

Today most of their buildings are energy self sufficient.

 

Namibia cannot afford imported consumerism

Our trade deficit is unaffordable

Namibia is on the brink of an economic disaster

 

Namibia likes to set new world standards

Self reliance of function, materials, performance and aesthetics

Must become our major architectural concerns

 

However, this self reliance must never be “just a fashion”

It must be real. It must be honest.

Self reliance must become the new Namibian culture.

 

FREEDOM VERSUS SECURITY - THE DILEMMA OF HUMAN EXISTENCE?

For a long time I have believed that the dilemma of human existence is the tension between the need for freedom versus the need for security. But, when I wrote about my parents, I realized that this idea is nonsense.

Some people grant themselves the freedom to live a life of making reality what others only fantasize about.

Such people have no need for security because they understand that there is actually no such thing as security. Security is a fantasy.

Nobody else will grant you freedom.
                                                                   Only you can grant yourself freedom.

 

HOW TO LIVE SELF RELIANT….

Self reliant living means to produce more than what you consume

Every person, every family, every business and even every Government ministry

Also calculating production also in terms of waste, real relevance and realistic future needs.

 

All buildings must primarily become well appointed centers of production

Whether the small scale home or the large scale office block

Whether private sector or public sector

 

Luxury must become a despised concept

Practical and functional comfort yes …. Wasteful luxury no!

Whether it is in the choice of building materials or vehicles

 

Once we throw down the shackles of global consumer slavery

Our Namibia will flourish and we will be the hunters instead of the hunted

And we will once again become the smile on the face of Africa

 

THE FINANCIAL MATHEMATICS OF ARCHITECTURE

As I am a professional architect, so please allow me to write about what I love.

If for every bank loan of a million you are responsible for a monthly repayment of about ten thousand for a period of twenty years….

If you buy a plot of land for a million and build a small house for two and a half million, then you are responsible for about thirty five thousand every month for the next twenty years.

You thus pay an eventual total of well over eight million for an investment of three and a half million. (35000 x 12 months x 20 year = 8,4 million)

I do not see much of a difference between a historical Roman slave and modern capitalist slavery. In my opinion, if you go that way you are screwed!

Buy a plot of land with a friend and then split it in two. It can be done legally. You do not need a thousand squares to have a nice home.

Then start a savings account and save all you can every month. Buy some cement, bricks and wood when you can. Start by building a room with a toilet and shower. Add on as you manage to save.

What did this building cost me? I have no idea, but I am sure that I did not spend more than a million over the twenty years it took me to build, change and renovate it several times. I never owed a cent to anybody and I was never under threat to loose it all because I could not make the monthly payments.

You will say it is not possible to do it this way, but it is. I did it exactly like that and here are some photos to prove it.

 

SELF RELIANT MILITARY DEFENCE

Every country has to defend itself militarily

To defend yourself efficiently you need to be self reliant

 

To buy your weapons from your potential enemies

Is a bad joke!

 

We have the project leaders, the experienced designers and the craftsmen

All we lack is the political will……

 

Put the design teams together

Let us use the wisdom of our old warriors

And let us Namibians develop and build our own weapons

 

We are proud of our military

We have the brave young men and women

But to see them use foreign weapons is an embarrassment!

 

CHEATING

Why we sometimes cheat on the things we love the most is an interesting physiological phenomenon.

                                        Speaking about cheating on your lover, your spouse or the other parent of your children are subjects that are too difficult to express.
                                         Perhaps it is easier to talk about cheating yourself.

I love architecture.
I loved architecture ever since I can remember.
My passion has always been about designing “amazing” environments that help people to experience life in all its magic.


But I have compromised on my beliefs.
I have spent a life time designing high tech institutional buildings, most of them classified.
Beautiful buildings as confirmed by the users.
Technically often very difficult, but proven over time to be very successful.

Cheating on your lover is not much in comparison to cheating on your own beliefs.

AND HERE IS THE TRUTH ABOUT CHEATING....

Sex is not the only way of cheating.
Cheating takes many different forms.

Sometimes people cheat on their most treasured, so as not to be the “holy one” in a relationship.
If you truly love another, and you see that person destroying their most treasured dreams just so as to manage with real life, then it is best to do the same.
                         Equality in relationships is preferable, no matter how strange it might be.......

 

ARCHITECTURE AND MUSIC

Architecture is the most honest representation of the values

Of any society and culture

 

While music is the spear point of culture

Without music revolution cannot happen

Without music people cannot fight for their freedom

Without music people cannot identify with an ideology or belief

 

The crossroads of these two cultural enigmas are churches

Structures whose only purpose is

Defending the moral beliefs of a group of people

Though the celebration of sounds and music of a Higher Order

 

Sad are the post Christian neo colonialist consumer churches

Also called shopping malls.

 

THE DINING TABLE

The dining table is the final declaration of a family’s beliefs in life.

In our bed and breakfast we have two dining tables. We have a formal expensive purpose made veneer table in a dining room. The best, of the best, art work gives the dining room its most special ambiance and a rose in a designer vase provides the finishing touch.

We also have a cheap plastic table in the kitchen next to the window where the sun shines in and you can see the doves in the trees outside.

Some guests insist on sitting in the dining room.
Others much prefer the kitchen.

It seems to me that you get two kinds of people in this world. The people that prefer to look good, and then the people that prefer to feel good.

When you walk into the home of friends you can always tell what kind of people they are by looking at their dining room table and kitchen. It is the heart and soul of the home.

A designer kitchen is there to be looked at. It is a sign of financially successful people. The best you can expect to eat is expensive delivered food in plastic wrapping.
                        After all, the kitchen cost a lot of money, and must be kept “looking good” at all times.

Good food comes out a kitchen that shows the wear and tear. Good food comes out of a kitchen that always smells of magic. Good food and drink comes out of a kitchen where the utensils show history.

As an architect I want to design homes for people where the dining table shows that it once was new, but that the kids grew up around that table.
The table must carry the marks of many a birthday party, science project, and when it was used as an ad-hoc table tennis table.
The dining table must have the smell of spices, and late night spilled red wine ingrained in the wood.
It must have names carved out on it, some with hearts.
It must have spilled ink marks from much home work.
It must carry the unspoken memory of the place where passionate love conceived the future…… 

Please do not ask me to be your architect if you like the dining chairs to match the dining table! And also not, if you do not want the dining table in the kitchen because “then your guests will see the dirty plates, pots and pans”.

 

No wonder nothing I ever designed has made it into the glossy architecture magazines…..

 

SELF RELIANCE – THE ROLE AND RESPONSIBILITY OF THE GOVERNMENT

I spoke to a friend

He tells me that his daughter with a proper university degree is looking for a job

She cannot get a job because there are no jobs

 

I spoke to another friend

He has been retrenched and is looking for millions to borrow

So as to start a legal business

It is a no go as you must pay back ten thousand every month for every million you borrow

 

Self reliance is about starting your own successful small business

with minimum overheads and without the pressure and burden of debt

To do so, you need to be able to work from home

And use the infrastructure that your family provides

 

However, the laws of our country and municipalities protects big business

Against the competition of small scale self reliant business

Yes, laws must be there

But laws must enhance the quality of life of its citizens, not restrict it

When laws become a barrier to development, it is evil and must be reconsidered

 

THE SORDID STORY OF A SILLY OLD MAN WHOSE DESTINY WAS GOVERNED BY HIS OWN STUPIDITY.

“Charles, how does desirability work?” I asked my old friend.

“Unfortunately in today’s plastic day and age, the biggest aphrodisiac is money – the look and smell of it”.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked

“If there were twin identical sisters with the same looks and the same personality yet one was poor and one rich, and I saw that I could become interested, but could only marry one, subconsciously it would most probably be the rich one who I pursue” he answered.

“Can I tell you a story?” I asked. “When I was young I lived with a lover. After some time we split up. Our needs simply developed in different directions”.

“One day she knocked at my door.
                   I invited her in.
                              She was dressed in a very short mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heels and a tight fitting blouse without a bra.
                                               She was wearing a lot of makeup.
                                                               Thick red lipstick.
                                                                         It was strange.
                                                     Normally she was a natural girl.
                                 She seldom dressed up.
                     I poured us some drinks.
           I asked her what the meaning of her visit was.
She informed me that she would like to offer me her sexual services in return for money.
             This was a totally surrealistic experience.
                         I asked her if she was still living with her new lover.
                                      She did.
                                               I asked her if she would go back to him after we were physically intimate.
                                                             She said yes.
                                                                      I asked her if she desired me.
                                                     She thought for a while.
                                    “This is business” she replied.
                           I could not do it.
           I walked her back to her house.

Charles smiled. “I wonder what would have happened if you had the guts to have taken her” he said. “I wonder if she would have enjoyed doing it for money. I wonder if she would have managed to be creative. I wonder if it would have been different from when you lived together. I think it can be said that often a person desires the other for what the other person represents. It can also be said that we desire for the exotic privileges and experiences we are allowed by the other person.”

“I agree that you can sell fun.
Selling desire can also be very profitable.
But love is always a gift.
That was my problem.
I still loved that woman” I declared.

“And then what did you do?” Charles asked.

“I sold most of my property and gave her all my money. I did not want her to reduce the relationship we had before we split up to the level of physical intimacy for money. I have always refused to evaluate love in terms of dollars. I wanted her to be free. I wanted her to desire with honesty, even if it was not me.”

Charles just shook his head. “Very righteous of you my friend, but have you ever considered that for once she might have wanted to liberate her physical fantasies from the holy act of love? You say you loved her, but perhaps you loved yourself more.”

“Hmm, it could be that I was a complete idiot!” I mumbled, but not too loudly.

 

SELF RELIANCE – TRANSPORT

Since mankind invented the wheel

Transport has been a major issue in all societies

The producers of vehicles make fortunes

Selling to those believing they are too stupid to build their own

 

Very soon our Government will realize just how much we waste

Importing hundreds of thousands of cars

With our leaders setting the standard in fashion with luxury brands

A knife directly in the heart of self reliance

 

When the inevitable bankruptcy strikes our country

Imports will have to be restricted to only critically needed specialized vehicles

It will force our people to become creative

Design and build our own vehicles…. Proudly Namibian!

If not, why not?

 

DEAR LOVER,

Einstein said that common sense is just a bundle of moral prejudices acquired before the age of eighteen. I am certainly the victim of severe moral prejudices drilled into our heads as children.

Thirty years to the day in August 1987, I registered and started my architecture practice under the name Architecture and Design for People. My Dad, that was still alive at the time, was totally disgusted with me. “Why do you not practice under your own name as all proper architects do? Are you embarrassed of your name and who you are, or are you a fokken communist?” he shouted at me. I knew it was not worth trying to explain to him that I believed in designing homes rather than houses. After all, as much as I respected as my father, I knew he would never comprehend the difference between the truely erotic and the fetish.

My Dad will smile in his grave to find out that in 2014 the authorities forced me against my will to change the name of my practice to Frenus Rorich Architects. Society tries to force us to all be the same.

When I met my lover many years ago, we were both very wild and free. Making a family also forced us both to become responsible. For the last twenty years (and three kids later) we have both adopted the roles of respectable conservative parents.

But, there is a need in us that life and society did not manage to tame, and the time has come again to become wild and free.

My lover and I have both gone through a terribly traumatic time trying to understand the dilemma we are in with who and what we are as individuals, and to understand the beauty and strengths of our charaters and our relationship.

We both had to prove to each other that we are totally committed, and therefore can be trusted completely, no matter what we do. I am convinced that our love for each other now burns stronger than ever.

And so, my dear friends.... for the rest of my life, I promise to take myself and everybody around me on a sensual journey well beyond anybody’s wildest imagination. I promise to let nothing slow us down, or stop us. I promise to only design homes for people that love the sensual and the erotic! And, I promise to leave the design of pretty (or actually terribly ugly) houses with flying roofs, plenty glass, chrome and false stone work facades to all the good and proper architects out there.

And to my most treasured lover…. “Please hang on Sweety, because this is going to be the ride of your life!”

 

TO MY BOYS......

Very soon my oldest son will leave home. I have decided to give him a small amount of money and three postcards addressed to myself.... and then he must go, never mind where, no matter what he does, and no matter how hard it is for me.

I should like to dedicate this poem by BUKOWSKI to my sons

GO ALL THE WAY - Charles Bukowski

“If you're going to try, go all the way.

Otherwise, don't even start.

This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind.

 It could mean not eating for three or four days.

 It could mean freezing on a park bench.

 It could mean jail.

 It could mean derision.

 It could mean mockery--isolation.

 Isolation is the gift.

 All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it.

 And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds.

 And it will be better than anything else you can imagine.

 If you're going to try, go all the way.

 There is no other feeling like that.

 You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire.

 You will ride life straight to perfect laughter.

 It's the only good fight there is.”

 

EDUCATION

We adults have the concept of belongings ingrained.

My car. Your Car.

My house. Your house.

My wheel barrow. Your wheel barrow.

My wife. Your wife.

 

Should it not be: “This is the woman I love”

Should we not teach our youth not to have

 But to give it all away

 And to share everything

 Should we not teach our youth about freedom

 And respect

 And that love refuses to be a commodity

 

SUCCESS

I have no idea where I got the idea from that my lover and my children would love me more if I was successful.

I thought society will respect me more if I proved my success.

Is this not an idea we put into the heads of our male children?

I got the opportunity to prove myself.

For years I worked more than full steam.

Many a night I did not sleep.

I designed the buildings to be the pinnacle of my career.

I got the best building contractor to build.

There is no other project around better than the one I designed.

When it was finished I showed my buildings to my clients.

They were not like the colour of the floor tiles, and they commented on a small shrinkage crack.

I took my lover and showed her my buildings.

“It is very big” she said.

Her eyes did not show any special emotions when she said it.

I showed my children the buildings.

They asked me why there is one way glass in the reception area.

They enjoyed riding the lift up and down.

Last weekend I took my kids camping in the Namib.

After the braai, looking at the stars, we sat round the camp fire and talked about creation and the universe.

 I explained meteorites, and Einstein’s theories about light, to them.

 Suddenly, I realized that they were looking at me in the way I so desperately wanted to see.

 

MAKING LOVE

Making love is the process whereby you open your soul to another person

It is the process whereby you admit your secrets

And expose your fears and weaknesses

Your fantasies and your demons

Revealing the truth about whom and what you really are

 

 

Sex on the other hand

Is a fetish pretense of the truth

And should be used for financial or power gains only

Sex is lekker, if fun is what you want, but will leave you feeling terribly lonely

If it was the release of the imprisoned bad spirits in your heart that you seeked.

 

OH, THE EROTIC……

Last night my lover and I went to a school event. My lover was tasked to sell tickets at the entrance. I mingled with the crowd while keeping an eye on my lover.

In walked a handsome and successful father, about a decade younger than me, gym workout body and with a rough and purposefully unkempt appearance. He looked my lover deep in the eyes (while buying his tickets), gave her his best smile and his body language made it clear to the world that he desired this woman.

This very intense erotic interaction only lasted for a few seconds. When he looked up, he noticed me watching them. I had to suppress and control a very strong attack of jealousy. In my mind’s eye I saw my lover allowing him freedom with her body. I did not want it.

Later he invited me for a drink. He obviously felt a bit unsure about my thoughts on his overt actions towards my lover. So, he looked over to my lover and told me he thought she looked very sexy in her tights. I told him that I bought the tights for her, but that she had another pair that showed off her body even better.

We left it at that……………….

Flirting and erotic teasing are powerful forces!

DAMARALAND

There is an incredibly beautiful tented camp in Damaraland.
     The tents, large enough to easily accommodate a double and two single beds, are nestled against sculptural granite koppies.
           The spacious covered outside entertainment areas have fridges to keep the drinks cold, and open fire places for the idyllic evenings under the African sky with millions of stars.
                         The large bath and shower give a feeling of freedom as they are open air, semi enclosed to the “public”, but with an unrestricted view towards the endless African savanna.
                                    The famous desert elephants of the Namib periodically stroll through the camp in their search for green leaves to eat.

She knew that flirting is a crucial aspect of everyday life, and also of business.
Flirting takes many forms.
Flirting can start with a smile.
Flirting can be something you say, the way you laugh, or a touch.
Flirting might be a secret whisper.
Eye contact remains the most lethal of all flirting weapons...

But, she also knew that flirting always maintains a level of protection from consequence.
                         Anybody can call a halt to the game at any time and walk away without any further obligations or damages.

 
Teasing however, is not the same as flirting.
Teasing is a pure art form because it requires full commitment, and the full acceptance of the nearly always inevitable consequences.
Encountering real teasing is something you will never forget.
Only people that love adventure will tease.
Teasing is gambling with life.
Teasing is acting without any security, facing an undetermined future, where anything can be, and all that you can rely on is your wits.
Teasing is daring to give up all that you know, and your security, and stepping over the edge of the cliff. Teasing is about living the life full of adrenaline and the experiencing the excitement of victory and failure.

He and She received an invitation from an old friend.
               The old friend, that had a short relationship with she, way back when they were still at college, has invited them to come with him for four days to Damaraland.
                They could travel up in his single cab four by four pickup, and he has booked the luxury tent, all expenses paid.

Over breakfast he asked she what she thought of the invitation.

“Ag shame!” she replied. “Our friend is such a nice man, and has just gone through such a terrible divorce. I do not think he will ever look at another woman again, and I can just imagine how lonely he is”.

"Is she flirting or teasing?" he wondered........

 

LOVE MAKES THE ULTIMATE DIFFERENCE

Sometimes you walk into a building, or a home, and you can see and feel the difference. It is as if the flowers have more colour, and the walls radiate a warmth.

That difference is the personal care born out of love. For anything to have a spirit, it needs to be loved. It is as if things can feel love, and as if that love generates an energy of its own.

To love something or somebody is more than to have respect for that something or somebody. Love means that you care for that something all the time, that you notice the smallest details and continuously try to make the world around the thing, or person, you love, better.

The person that loves does not have to deny him or herself. However, love is an unselfish act of "giving and caring".

Is it not his incredible love that one feels in the buildings of Gaudi, the greatest architect of all times?

Love is the energy that is missing in most modern buildings in our cities. Most buildings are designed by faceless people in sterile offices. They are built by faceless profit orientated contractors, and then cared for by caretakers that do not care. Many “homes” simply serve as resting places for the owners that spend their days and passion elsewhere.

No matter how good the architect is, without this act of care and giving, no building can ever transcend from being just a "building" to a place with "positive energy and spirit”. Without every single person that works on a project putting love into their work, the spirit and energy will be missing, and so it will just become another neurotic modern development.

So, if I, the architect, is a consumer orientated materialist who regards the building purely in terms of profit, how can I expect the craftsmen and construction workers to express their love? If a building is not conceived in love, how can the inhabitants show their love?

The problem is that love is not financially profitable, and so it has become very scarce.

Today again I received a request to design a building. The Client explained his physical needs and wanted to know my fees. I immediately rejected the project. I will rather have no work than “do more of that”. I am waiting for the client that asks me how to make spaces for freedom and for love…..

MY FREEDOM

From the first day I went to school….
                 I objected to teachers that forced me to spend my time as I was told to do
                               And forced me to do things I saw no reason for.
                                          I hated older and stronger people that bullied me
That told me what to do, and when to do it, and how to think about it.

But I loved grown-ups that explained the mysteries of life, and the system, to me
                    I loved grown-ups that did not waste my precious time on earth, either by forcing me, or by using me, through manipulation for their sole benefit. .

I understood that my time, my body and my brain power was mine, and only mine. 
                 I refused to feel guilty in any way for claiming unconditionally that my time, my body and my thoughts were only mine, and in no way belonged to society or any system.
                          I refused to feel guilty for not doing “my expected duties” towards a society or a system. I do NOT agree with any person that considers him or herself superior enough to destroy any part of God’s creation, or hurt another person or people, or even damage a system on purpose with the use of terror.
                  I think it is OK for me to trade with the people and the system around me while respecting those people, and that system for what it is.
                                I think it is also OK for me to pity politicians because Mandela proved to us just how easily a system can be manipulated regarding the perception of truth about freedom for the sake of power and profit.

George Orwell in 1984 stated the idea that for an industrial system to work properly
Machines must be developed that can think like humans
And humans must be conditioned to think like machines
Man all over the world must lose their human qualities
And must become soulless automations without being aware of it.
Doublethink….. (George Orwell)
Alternative facts… (Donald Trump)
The industrial system understands that reality only exists in the human mind, and nowhere else
Whatever the system holds to be true, must thus be the truth, and humans must be convinced to believe it.

The present day European industrial truth is that freedom is the privileged choices that “the superior” system grants its citizens.
In return for these privileged choices, European citizens must sacrifice their time and energy to generate more power (money) for that system.
Thus, industrial slavery will be perceived as freedom, as long as the citizens believe that it is their personal choice, the truth and their privilege.

Janis Joplin
“Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.
If is not nothing, honey, then it is not free”.

The young European industrialists argue that freedom cannot be the absolute purpose in life, but happiness is.
Man can never be 100% free
So why worry about not being free enough?
Sheryl Crow sings: “If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad”

However, Hendrik Witbooi (the face on our Namibian bank notes) wrote a 150 years ago that: “when a person stands under the protection of another, he is no longer independent, and is no longer master of himself, or the master of his own destiny. He who is on top is the lord and master and chief of all that is under him. So, I see no truth, or sense, in the suggestion that a person who has surrendered may keep his autonomy, and do as he likes”.

The present day industrial system is designed to give enough choices to make its citizens feel happy.
But what happens when you want something outside of the choices offered?
That is when you run into a brick wall
What if a woman decides she wants to love and to marry more than one man
and live with them both in the same house at the same time?
Liberal industrialized European society will certainly infringe on such a woman’s human right to do so….

It is said that a person who has never experienced freedom cannot miss freedom
Or understand freedom!
But, if you have known the freedom that you subconsciously felt at birth (before you were taught the power of guilt) then the lack of freedom will probably be the real cause of your death in the long run.

When you let go of the guilt in your head……
When you let go of the guilt of what your parents have done for you…..
When you let go of the guilt of what your lover / husband / wife does for you…
When you let go of the guilt of not being what is expected of you by the people you love….
When you let go of the guilt of the apparent “blessings” (privileges) that the system has bestowed on you……..
When you let go of the guilt when another person gives you something for nothing…….
When you let go of the guilt about the poor, the ill and the environment……..
When you let go of the guilt about what you have……
When you let go of guilt…….
Only then can you experience freedom.

Freedom might leave you happy or sad
But freedom is the one thing that can never be regulated.
Freedom can never be industrialized.
Freedom can never be a commodity.
Freedom is pure.
Freedom is magic.

“Freedom is the only human value worth living for” says the people that know.
Without freedom, true quality of life cannot exist.

 

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING NAUGHTY TOGETHER
OR
DANCING NAKED WITH THE WOMAN I LOVE

Architects can create amazing spaces, but the youth will naturally migrate towards the truly exceptional spaces. Young people are the most honest judges of the quality of our space creations.

The other day I went for a walk. I noticed some youngsters having a “sun-downer” party on top of an old disused reservoir. They were drinking, singing and dancing to the latest tunes. The view from the reservoir must be truely exceptional! It made me angry, and I wanted to report these youngsters to the authorities, because “it was a dangerous place to party, and I was sure they did not have permission”.

Suddenly, I realized that I was angry with them simply because I was jealous for not being included in that party. I also wanted to be young again, and dance to another great African sunset, on top of an incredibly special place, with the most beautiful woman in the world. I also wanted to drown myself in the music, and feel the blood in my veins flow in harmony with creation.

Experiencing the extraordinary is highly exotic, and makes a person feel alive. It could be spiritual, it could be emotional or physical, it could be material, or it could even be sexual. The search for the extraordinary is closely related to “transcending the rules of the ordinary”, in one way or another.

Society, religion, and education, controls us by highlighting the negative consequences of “breaking the rules”. Europeans are taught that “living by the rules” will enhance the individual’s quality of life.

But, does it?

I smiled at the young people on top of the water reservoir, and in my heart I saluted them. I did not report them, and never will. Please also do not report me when one day you find me dancing naked with my woman, at sunset, at an “illegal” and very exotic place!

And do not be surprised if I created that place…..

Married couples may think what I have written so far is only applicable to young lovers, and not to people that have been married for many years, or so. That is not true……

George Bataille wrote: “Human sexual activity is not necessarily erotic. Human sexual activity only becomes exotic whenever it is NOT RUDIMENTARY, and not only purely animal.”

He also wrote: “We can ask whether the deep love kept alive in marriage would be possible without the contagion of “illicit” love (doing naughty things), the only kind able to give love a greater force than that of law”.

“Illicit love” immediately brings to mind other relationships outside the main relationship under consideration. But, there is much more to this statement than the obvious. It is true that "illicit love" heightens the passions, whether it is the mild form of flirting with each other, or the more serious forms of doing things not allowed by the rules of society.

Many years ago my lover and I decided to move in together and have children. We asked nobody for permission. Our families knew nothing of our decision. We did not break any legal laws, but we certainly transcended the moral expectations of our families and society. My lover was brought up Catholic, me a Calvinist, she an European, me an Oorlamse Afrikaner, she a capitalist, while my father called me a fokken communist. We both believed strongly in complete freedom within our relationship. Our act of “illicit love” scandalized our families and their friends, but proved for us to be a much greater force than any social standards. Since then we have done many things that would scandalize society in the extreme. But, those are stories for when it will no longer affect the living…..

Betrayal in a relationship must be avoided. Betrayal is an act of the Devil, and spells the end of any relationship, or friendship. Betrayal occurs when you do not make the effort to include the interests of your soul mate in what you are doing. Where “illicit love” becomes true magic is when it is an act of combined rebellion, or mischief, by the partners involved in a relationship. Such acts of naughtiness strengthen the feelings of camaraderie and passion between partners. This kind of "illicit love" is an essential ingredient for any great relationship!

 

THE BASIC “SECURITY” PROBLEM WITH RELATIONSHIPS
OR
PEARL EARRINGS, THE WEDDING RING AND THE OVER SIZED MAN’S VEST

I met an Ovambo speaking lady. She is the mother of several children, owns a homestead and a commercial farm, and holds a high government position.
            “How is it going on the farm?” I asked her.
                       “Ishh” she replied. “You simply cannot employ the men of this country. They steal, they are lazy and they are only interested in drinking and womanizing. You have to watch them all the time, and lock away everything”.

Yesterday, new guests arrived at our bed and breakfast.
                “Good morning M’lady, My name is Frenus. I met your husband yesterday, when I was here.” I introduced myself.
                     “Hallo. My name is Eva. Sorry, I was in the shower when you were here yesterday” she replied.
“You should not say a thing like that to a dirty old man, because I would have loved to have washed your back for you!” I told her with a naughty smile.

A very uncomfortable silence followed……

“Oh, shit! I should have noticed that she wears pearl earrings” I thought to myself.
                   The jewelry that a person wears tells you a lot about that person.
                               From experience I know that pearl earrings signify “do not mess with me”.
It made me think back to an experience a long time ago….

I just returned from a very “naughty” weekend, at a quiet place, with my married lover. We were sitting in front of the open fire place sipping wine and feeling rather content. She phoned her husband to tell him that she would soon leave my place to take the long road home. From her I learnt the wisdom of always being totally honest with your spouse, about what you are doing. She always insisted on taking a gift, which could only come from my place and nowhere else, along for her husband. Betrayal was never part of her strong character, and I also know (I saw it with my own eyes) that her husband loved her more for it, every day.

A backpacker girl that just booked in walked through the lounge on her way to the showers.
She was obviously naked except for the towel wrapped around her gorgeous body.
“Can I wash your back for you?” I chirped, as I always do, trying to embarrass her while making conversation. She stopped at the door, turned round slowly, took her time to look me up and down, and said “Yes please!”

It must have been a moment like that that inspired the scientists to invent Bluetooth. The flow of unseen energy through the space of the room was like huge shock waves. My lover grabbed my hand and squeezed it too hard. I was speechless. The backpacker smiled, winked at me as if she just signed the contract, and disappeared into the showers.

I begged my lover to please stay the night. She showed me her wedding ring. I knew that as long as she wore that gold band she would have all the security she wanted. I also knew that you get nothing for free in life…..

The backpacker, sitting demurely by the fire after her shower, watched us while pretending to read a book. She was dressed in a comfortable soft fluffy tracksuit. I caught her eye while I kissed my lover as she left to go home.

As soon as she heard my lover’s car drive off down the road, the backpacker put her book down, looked me straight in the eyes, and said “come”. She led me to my big bed in the attic. She took off all her clothes. Then she sent me to look for matches so she could light her marijuana pipe. While smoking she allowed me to do with her body whatever I liked, and more.

The next morning she left for the capital city to stay with a friend of mine. I think she preferred him because he was either a more interesting and more potent lover, or unlike me, also enjoyed the sensual pipe of nirvana. They eventually had a child together.

The last time I saw my backpacking friend was a few years later. She arrived unannounced. It was hot in our kitchen. When she took her jacket off, she was only wearing an over sized low cut man’s fitness vest. The cloth did nothing else but accentuated the nudity of her incredible physical charms. It was most obvious that being a mother did her body no harm. Here was a lady that had no fear to celebrate the sensual possibilities her beautiful body offered. When I looked at her I truly wished that she would tell me the stories of her many loves and erotic experiences.

We went outside, sat under the old palm tree and shared a cigarette.
          Our eyes met and we silently acknowledged our understanding and respect for each other.
                I asked her why she was returning to her hometown in Europe where her parents had their own successful business.
             She burst out laughing at my naivety.
Her daughter needed financial stability, and go to a proper school.
              She was only taking her daughter with her.
She no longer had need for the rest.
                                       “After all, unlike security, lovers are easy to find, everywhere….” she said with a mischievous and somewhat inviting smile.

 

THE DECISIVE MOMENT

The way we perceive “time” is chronological. For us the bus will leave at 11h00 and you will arrive at 11h35.

The way traditional Africans see “time” is opportunistic. For traditional Africans the bus will leave when there are enough people.

“African time” is similar to “Kairos time”. Kairos, was the Greek god of time, and the son of Zeus. The Greeks believed that Kairos, which embodies the opportune time, could be easily caught by the hair, when he's running towards you. But once he would get pass you, you could not catch him by the hair because he is bald from the back. Hence, a Kairos moment, once lost is lost forever….just like the decisive moment.

What gives the decisive moments its strength and value is the life changing consequences of the act at that moment.

The decisive moment is what every person that loves excitement strives for in their lives. The look, the fire in the eyes, the gamble, the moment of putting your foot into the Rubicon, and committing to the walk to the other side, where the future is uncertain and the adrenaline pumps through your veins.

The German tourists booked their holiday through Namibia a year in advance. The bus will leave Sossosvlei by 8 am and will arrive in Swakop by 3 pm. From three till seven they will rest, and at eight they have a table booked at the restaurant overlooking the Jetty. But, then the bus broke down just this side of the Kuiseb Canyon, because the road is so bad. The stress levels went through the roof, and they shouted at the poor local tour guide that they will demand their money back because their travel insurance does not cover such “a waste of time!” According to the newspaper, one tourist needed to be flown out by emergency rescue because of a situation that looked like a heart attack.
The local Oorlamse Afrikaner tour guide sat down under the only scraggily thorn tree to be seen for miles, while waiting for assistance from Windhoek. He smoked a cigarette. She came over and asked for a light. She was wearing very tight eye catching Levi jeans, her eyes sparkled with honest mischief and she had the smile of an angel. He asked her name. It was as if the temperature in the desert dropped by at least ten degrees when she sat down next to him.

She got a big fright when a toktokkie ran over her foot. But, her laughter was like that of the stars when he showed her the Namibian national sport of toktokkie racing, and her toktokkie was the winner by far. The “decisive moment” occurred with the arrival of the rescue bus. He committed his love and desire with only one word: “stay”.

Very few of the tourists, in a hurry to catch up on their schedules, noticed the young woman sitting all relaxed and watching them from the shade of the half dead thorn tree. None of the tourists realized that she just dropped out of her second qualification at one of the top rated universities in Europe. None realized that she just gave up a brilliant career, a huge pension after sitting in an air conditioned office for thirty five years, a big white wedding to a successful and socially very acceptable young man, and that one of her future three sons was destined to make a major impact on the history of this country.

Should you ask the old woman with the grey hair, sitting at the mole reading Amos Oz, if she has any regrets about catching Kairos by the hair, you will only get a smile that lights up the universe, for she is a woman of very few words and many loves.

I hate nothing more than to hear that my old friends got divorced.
I find it incredibly difficult to associate the the bitterness, total rejection and anger of a divorce with the idilic beauty of the wedding day.... and still we refuse to think about what caused it and talk to our kids about it......all we say is "shame!"

 

HOW TO AVOID THE SADNESS OF SERIAL MONOGAMY (DIVORCE)
or
THE EROTIC SIDE OF MARRIAGE

A young loving couple stayed in our local bed and breakfast. This morning they slept very late.

“They must be on their honeymoon” I said to my lover.

                                      “No, impossible” came her spontaneous reply. “The moment most couples slip on the                                                       wedding rings, they think that life is all sorted, and the search for ecstasy                            and desire are over. Couples on honeymoon think they must do incredible things like  
                                        quad biking, rather than stay in bed and make love, mentally and physically!”

“You make marriage sound so terribly boring” I said. “Is it not jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity, ego, fights, screaming, threats, feeling trapped and the endless expectations that turn marriage into such a nightmare of boredom? And, is it not this boredom that makes the divorce rate in some European countries to be more than 50% within the first five years of marriage?”

“No, you are wrong” she replied with enthusiasm in her voice. “We should teach the kids that a marriage certificate is a wonderful written commitment to complete confidentiality and unconditional understanding. As such, marriage provides you with total security and thus the freedom to do whatever you never even imagined before, without any fear of social ridicule or exposure. Unfortunately many regard marriage as a limiting contract, instead of realizing that it is actually a contract that will expect from you to live a life honestly and without boundaries. You cannot love denial. It is impossible to be a “love atheist”. You can only love and respect daring!”

“Shoe, this is a great cup of moccachino” I was thinking to myself. “Moccachino… half bitter coffee and half sweet chocolate….. proof that it is possible to have your cake and eat it….. proof that the idea of, if you want this, you cannot have that, is false!”

                                                                  “The critical issue about marriage is this” she continued.
“Marriage is an institution that is supposed to provide people and their kids with security.
                                              Security is critically important in life.
But security and oppression always walks a very fine line.
                                   If security is not the bases of what gives you freedom, then it becomes a prison.
                                                                  This is true for a married relationship, as well as the relationship between the security forces and society.
The moment the rules of a marriage negatively impose on a person’s freedom, then it can be regarded as a prison sentence.
                  Lack of freedom will automatically cause a marriage to self destruct, and you will probably have to start all over again!”

It is true what my lover said, and it reminded me of when I was younger and I had several married lovers. Anyone who has not experienced the power of breaking the rules knows nothing about ecstasy. The excitement of people experimenting with their lives.
                                                                             The selfless art of submitting the ego to pure pleasure.

But, these incredible ladies also taught me that it is essential that married people live life with the full knowledge of their spouses. Married people that cheat on their spouses have ulterior motives. Betrayal and dishonesty always lead to traumatic confrontations and violence.
                                                                                      Betrayal and dishonesty is no good!

Married eroticism is a delicate game of art. The erotic is based on the excitement of experimenting with the unknown.

The erotic needs of my married lovers differed from person to person. Some times it was intellectual, spiritual, physical and even sexual. One of my married lady friends only wanted to sit on my bed, drink wine and look at my art books. She did not want any physical contact. Sometimes she phoned me for long talks in the middle of the night when she could not sleep.

One husband phoned my house and asked to speak to his wife. I told him to hold on because she needed to get out of the bath. She ran to the phone, naked, and then teased us both till I caressed her all over while she tried to talk to her husband.

Another husband asked me to accompany his wife on a trip to another town. He booked us a double room. We went out for a romantic dinner and slept naked in each other’s arms.

I know for a fact that none of these wives ever loved their husbands less. I know for a fact that none of the husbands ever loved their wives less. None of these couples experienced marriage problems due to my erotic, and sometimes sexual relationships with the wives.

A husband has not the right to stop his wife from going to the hair dresser, or going to church, or having coffee with friends, or having a male friend or even a lover.
                         It is all these little things that make a wife happy, and makes her fun to be with, and vica versa.

In marriage nothing should be forbidden. Unconditional acceptance is a must. Celebrating mischievous behaviour is the spice of love. The restrictive doors of marriage must be forced open.
                                                                              Respect towards one’s spouse is critical.

A little bit of wisdom is necessary to understand that serial monogamy, or exchanging your old geloppie for a new sports car, will make the boring road between Swakop and Windhoek more interesting, but only for the first three trips. It is much better to use your old geloppie, without the electronics, and travel the route via the back dirt roads, through half forgotten villages, and places where the wild cheetah will still race you to the next tree. You can trust your old geloppie to handle the corrugations, you know what to do if the carburettor gives problems, and the mattress in the back will make you sleep peacefully, even next to an old thorn tree under the incredible African sky.
                                                   These back roads will always provide you with wonder and excitement.

“But” you might argue “Since I listened to Marianne Faithfull when I was a child, I wanted to drive trough Paris in a sports car with the warm wind blowing through my hair”. Dare, and you might be surprised to find that your spouse actually loves you for it. If you do not have the guts to dare to live out your dreams, then at least do not blame your spouse for your cowardice.
                        Deny the excitement of your wildest fantasies, and boredom will become your greatest enemy.

Only so can we possibly avoid the waste of time, extreme sadness and bitterness of serial monogamy.

 

WHY THE ANGER OF OLDER MEN?
Or
LOVE AS A PIZZA

Franz Kafka said: “Love is a drama of contradictions.”

Personally, I consider myself to be a complete prude. I have a tendency to be easily shocked by matters relating to sex and nudity. I am also excessively concerned with sexual propriety. That is the conformity to conventionally accepted standards of behaviour and morals.

But, a few days ago a British couple booked into our guest house. He was just another very average man. However, what struck me as peculiar were the very conservative clothes she was wearing. She had on a flowery blouse buttoned up to her neck with a light blue button up cardigan over. Her maroon straight cut skirt started just below her boobs and went all the way down to her ankles. It is long since I last saw anybody dressed so conservatively. I felt sorry for her because she was obviously trying to hide some or other physical deformity.

My garage so happens to overlook their bathroom window. That night, while putting my car away, I realized that their bathroom window curtain was completely open. The English rose was in the bathroom only wearing a bright red g-string panty. Needless to say, although I am not supposed to, I must admit that I had a good old voyeur look at the near naked woman. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her body. In fact, she was nicely unfashionably plump and extremely pretty.

I think she noticed me watching her from the garage. She turned around and discarded her g-string. The most secret part of her body was completely devoid of any hair. Before my eyes I saw erotic beauty to the extreme. She soaped herself all over, under the shower, in a display of complete freedom to the god of Eros. It was a great feast for an old man’s tired eyes.

Soon afterwards they left for dinner, but only after she carefully closed the curtain, and smiled at me.

The force of teasing is an incredibly powerful aphrodisiac. The positive force of honestly allowing total freedom, and then wondering, of imagining, of guessing and never knowing is incredible!

In her book Wild Words from Wild Women, Autumn Stephens quotes Jerry Hall (who was married to Mick Jagger from the Rolling Stones and together they had four children) as follows: “My mother said it was simple to keep a man; you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.”

This morning I was speaking to a well groomed young woman from New York. Being an open-minded prude, I expressed my most serious concern about using the word “whore” in an article. I believe the word, and its meaning, to be extremely derogative. How can pretendy passion for money ever make anybody feel good in the long run? She smiled sympathetically, and told me that in America sex has become completely commercialized. The client picks the courtesan from the closed circuit television in the hotel, and three minutes later there is a gentle knock on the door. “It is no different than delivering a pizza” she said.

The erotic part of love is the same as delivering a pizza? Issshh. There is something terribly wrong about our society. No wonder so many older men are so angry. I want love based on real passion, real lust, real excitement, real teasing! And, the need for love to be more exciting than delivering a pizza is getting stronger the older I get. “To hell with any woman that thinks she can entertain me with delivering “pizza” to my door, no matter how good looking she is, or who she is. The attitude of delivering a pizza is simply hollow eroticism that is guaranteed to leave any old man totally unfulfilled!” I say.

Anyway, many older men take delight in the fruit of the grape and barley. Some older men take delight in the chariots of the Romans. But, my advice to all women out there…. If an old man does not take great delight in the incredible naked beauty of a real woman, then he might be old, but he is definitely not a man! For as the great icon of the twentieth century, Zorba the Greek, said …. “There is only one sin God will not forgive. That is if a woman calls the man she desires to her bed, and he will not go!”

Regarding Jerry Hall’s mother’s advice….. she obviously did not think much of her son in law. She wanted him to settle for “home-made pizza",rather than for the excitement of genuine desire. Is it good advice? No, I do not think so! It reminds me of an old man being referred to as a "good catch". Passion cannot be business!

 

EXPECTATIONS: HUSBAND - WIFE - LOVERS

Expectations are the voice of the Devil in your own head.

When I was a child I wanted to drop out of society and live a life of freedom.
I wanted to sail around the world in a small yacht, see strange places and spend time with strange people.
My mother told me that before I could drop out, I first had to prove my worth to society.
It never was in my heart, but I started studying architecture exactly forty years ago.
Then I practiced and designed many buildings, sometimes even believing that I enjoyed it.

Ironically, most of the buildings I designed are classified military buildings and officially does not exist.
So, I have no idea if I managed to satisfy my mother’s expectation of proving my worth to society or not.
I never sailed to strange places in a little yacht, and I never spent time with strange people.
I read Bukowski to satisfy my need for spending time with strange people.
I read Anais Nin to satisfy my need for freedom.

My young friend, William, came to visit me. He lived with his girlfriend for almost a decade. Then they split up. Recently I have heard that they are sort of back together. “Would you mind telling me what happened?” I asked him.

“At first our relationship was great. We partied a lot and our erotic relationship was intense” he replied. “Then slowly but surely she wanted to settle down and have a child. I could not see myself as a traditional husband and father, watching television every night and have a predetermined responsible rest of my life. I need adventure and excitement. Splitting up was inevitable, I suppose”.

“Soon after I left, she became pregnant. The little one was born, and although the father supports financially, he has little to do with her or the child. She is a single mom and she works hard to make ends meet”

“I remained celibate for about two years after our split. When I got lonely, I realized that either I would have to return to the dating scene, or visit a house of pleasure. Neither option appealed to me” he explained.

“So, one day when I was talking to her on the phone, I asked her if she would be prepared to play amorous games with me for money” William said and bust out laughing. “She slammed the phone down in my ear!”

My lover was listening to the story, looking very amused. “Her reaction was normal and to be expected” I said.

“Oh, but she phoned back the next day. Friendly” he continued his story. “Apparently she thought about what I said and suggested we give it a try. After haggling over the price, we made a date for Saturday evening. I arrived at her place at the agreed time to find an open bottle of wine, the fireplace lit and she looking as pretty as I have never seen her before. I now visit her by appointment rather often. She makes sure that I will want to come back, and I spend my money very willingly”

“Shoebedobedoo, that certainly puts to question the meaning of expectations” I said.

“That is just it” he replied. “We always loved each other, but those expectations, either real or imagined, took away all the fun in our relationship. No matter what we are taught as children, the moment you add expectations, either real, or simply created in your own head, love can no longer be. Expectations are the purest form of slavery, and most often we are our own slave masters, as we do not simply say no!”

“People often do not even realize the expectations they put on others, or the expectations that form the basis of what they perceive as love in a relationship. So, how does one get rid of expectations?” I asked.

“To talk about love is far too complex” William stated with a smile. “Love is often perceived as some sort of baby cuddling emotional crutch, mixed in with plenty of expectations and unspoken obligations. Let us rather talk what it takes to be a good lover.”

“Please continue.”

“To be a good lover you need to be brutal with yourself, and practice to become self-reliant, thus not put any obligations and expectations on the other person.
Then you can advertise what you have to offer (that others might like to have), and consider what they offer to barter in return.
In the end, relationships are simple.
It is about what you want and need, and what you are prepared to give in return.
If the give and take matches, you have a deal”.

 

MAN’S GREATEST JEALOUSY.

Last night my lover stood NUDE in front of me. I feasted my eyes on a body so beautiful that no words can describe it! How incredible that such a body could create three strong young men and still be as incredibly beautiful as it is. Then she got into bed and lay in my arms, and then she became NAKED. Yes, being naked is different from being nude…. Think about it …. Nude is only physical, whereas nakedness is also emotional. I have confirmed with several of my dirty minded old male friends that they regard the semi-nudity in public of some traditional Namibian women as beautiful, but in no way as erotic as the wanton look in a smartly dressed “hot wife”.

I wonder what GOD thinks of man being embarrassed by the nude human body? I wonder what GOD thinks of the fact that we consider nudity, nakedness and procreation as the original sins?

Imagine.......

A big party is held on an empty piece of land. In an act of ecstasy, two bricks are placed together. The bricks start to multiply by themselves and build a most beautiful building complete with windows, doors, fully automatic air conditioning system, and a sound system. But besides that, the building is capable to renovate itself continually, and waste removal and cleaning are also done automatically. When the building has reached it “sell by date”, it starts to demolish itself until nothing is left.

Is there any property developer that would not like to have the plans for such a building? Is there anybody out there that would not regard such a building as a miracle?

Or, would man slap rules of morality on such buildings? Would parts of such buildings be wrapped in plastic to hide it from sight? Would man be told that such an incredible design is “sinful” and its beauty should be denied? After all, moral values and standards are not natural to man, but taught to the young.

Somewhere in the process of evolution man lost most of his hair. He needed to wrap himself in cloth and skin to protect the person from the elements. Clothing has become an integral part of human life. But more than simple protection, clothing had to take on the moral role of denying the existence of a design that man has always tried to copy, but has never succeeded in doing.

It is as if the beauty of the human body has brought out the worst of jealousy in man. Man simply cannot accept that he is not the greatest architect. And so, the creation that man cannot match, must be hidden at all costs. Strict moral standards dictate the amount of skin that may be visible. Culture, situations, place and age adjust the severity of these moral standards, but the underlying pathetic jealousy of the humans that believe, and righteously impose, these moral standards on others, are blatantly clear.

I grew up in a time and place where so-called Christian national idiot self elected leaders thought is well on moral grounds to dictate that the nipples of beautifully created women be covered with black stars. It was an incredibly sad period in our history!

 

LOVE, DESIRE, PASSION AND LUST VERSUS SOCIAL ORDER

“I hear that archaeologists have found the tablets on which Moses wrote GOD’s commandments” I said to my friends around the fire. “Apparently there has been a mistake through all the ages, because Moses actually wrote more than ten commandments. The eleventh commandment states that: “Thou shall only have one child”. A religious expert recons that this commandment relates to the fact that humans should not be capable to love more than one person at a time”.

“Are you sure about this? John asked.

“I think the expert is correct” I teased. “You never loved your first wife, John. You only love                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            your second wife” I bullied him.

“I loved my ex wife dearly when we got married and my present wife too when we got married” he exclaimed. “Both maybe the same amount as in both cases it was love. But both loves were at different stages of my maturity” he said.

“You have two boys” I replied. Feeling extremely argumentative, I continued.  “Is it not true that you loved the one boy more than the other?

“There is a very special bond between my boys and I” came John’s quick reply.  “We refer to ourselves as the three musketeers! I love them both equally, the same, and immensely. I have loved, and will love both unconditionally for all the time that I have left on earth”.

Did you not often feel that you may not love the one because you loved the other?” I asked.         “Did they not sometimes hate you because you loved the one and not the other?”

“They both feel loved as they have always both been loved” John said rather forcefully. “I have never favored one above the other. Although I always acknowledged the difference in their characters, I have also always been very fair!”

“So, John, what are you saying to me? I asked.
“Is it possible to love more than one person during your lifetime, and is it also possible to love two people at the same time?
And if so, where does it leave the limitations set by the sin of adultery?
Or does the sin of adultery exclude all the desires understood as love?”

John is not stupid.
He knew exactly where this argument was heading.
“Let us rather go and get another beer” was his only reply.

“It is not so simple” my lover threw in. “We do not live in a perfect world. We need to regulate society with moral and legal laws. We need to differentiate between different types of love. We cannot allow a love of freedom and lust as it will cause chaos. We all know that the hippie movement was a wonderful idea of love and sexual freedom, but it failed. People’s emotions and loves must be kept within limits. That is the only way society can function properly”.

My lover might have a point.
By rationally controlling our natural human natures we destroy the beauty and power of love, passion, desire and lust for the sake of social order.

 

THE “MAGIC” OF THE URBANIZATION

Anybody that has ever brought up children will know that children naturally prefer to do nothing. When children do something, they prefer to do whatever they feel like, which is seldom what they are supposed to do. And so also, most adults try to get through life pretending to work very hard, while actually doing as little as possible. The magic of a city is defined as the perfect place for living a life of leisure, based on successfully bullshitting everyone else.

I grew up on a farm in the maize triangle of South Africa. We grew maze, peanuts and sunflower. We also had a dairy. We had about twenty five bee hives around the sunflower fields to help with pollination. The chickens, geese, large subsistence vegetable garden and orchard with peaches, apricots and lemons produced more than enough food for everybody on the farm. Every spring time we planted watermelon and pumpkin fields along the prickly pear hedges. The prickly pear hedges provided crucial food for the animals during droughts.

But, life on the farm was very hard. During my primary school days it was normal for me to get up at four in the morning, milk three cows by hand, shower and then catch the bus to school. For me, the December holidays were even worse, and defined hell. The peanut fields that stretched over the horizon had to be weeded by hand. Average temperatures were over thirty seven degrees in the shade. There is no shade in a peanut field. At least the dairy boys could chaaila at three in the afternoon to go and milk and feed the cows, while the others had to continue till six in the evening. Milking all year was less exhausting than the few extra hours of weeding peanuts. My Dad had it the best. He was the boss and spent his time driving around in his air-conditioned pick-up, doing nothing physical, while checking what we were doing. I realized very young that being a delegating boss was the way to go.

My first experience of the big city was when we visited our Jewish friends in Johannesburg. After we drove through the slums of Soweto, we arrived at their huge villa overlooking the most elitist suburb of the city. They made a fortune out of selling expensive useless art in their exclusive galleries to the other rich people that made fortunes out of successfully exploiting the natural urban system of democratic inequality. My parents took along gifts from the farm. Twenty litres of fresh natural full cream cow’s milk, lots of home made cheese and freshly baked farm bread, five litres of natural honey in the comb, a big basked full of fresh vegetables and a bouquet of sunflowers. Because I was so young, I found it difficult to understand why our hosts completely freaked out about these gifts, which I regarded as actually very humble.

That is when I realized that urban populations are parasitic. Cities cannot feed itself, or generate enough water to drink. Cities use much more fresh air than it produces. Cities completely rely on the supplies from the outside world to survive. Cities rely on the taxes from the outside world to pay for the supplies it needs to import from the same outside world, to survive. And most importantly, cities maintain a highly structured hierarchy where the lowest paid menial work is exclusively reserved for the under privileged.

We know that parasites are generally tolerated as long as they also seem slightly beneficial to the host animal in some way or another. A serious problem develops when the parasites become too many, or too greedy. That is when the host animal must take steps to control the parasites, and save itself from being destroyed. Amongst humans, such steps to control are called revolution, and could be very violent. Through the ages of history we have seen great cities flourish, and then die till there was nothing left.

But, the two constants that remained through human history have been the hardships of rural farming, and the perceived magic of urbanization.

It is generally accepted that the twenty first century is rushing towards major catastrophes of some sort. Funny to think that the rural herdsman in the Kaokoveld, looking after his goats and cattle, might not even realize that a major catastrophe occurred, and that most of our urban human population was blotted out of existence. Such a catastrophe will create an incredible opportunity for the rural herdsman to also experience the magic of urbanization, although he will be doomed to cleaning the streets, or finding food on the rubbish dump, while he learns the techniques of doing nothing other than bullshitting properly.

 

THE CHALLENGE
or
BEING A VOYEUR

“Strangeness is arousing” I thought to myself.

“Stop telling us about how society should view passion and lust” my lover challenged me last week. “Tell us about yourself. Tell us about your own experiences with passion and lust”.

“Where does one start when you try to talk about yourself? I asked. It took me many sleepless nights to understand my own basic needs.

“I am basically a voyeur” I eventually said to my friends.

‘Hey man, people get locked up for that” Charles exclaimed.

“The problem with the word voyeur is that it has some very nasty connotations. The most basic type of voyeurism is reading a book or watching a movie. Most people do that. Then there is sitting in a coffee shop and watching other people walking down the street. Most people do that. Then there are situations where you purely by chance see things about other people that you are not supposed to see. That is exciting. Then there might be situations where you watch your loved ones do things that is exceptional and out of the ordinary. It does not matter if it is running the four hundred meters or simply being a sexy flirt. Watching people, and especially your loved ones break barriers, and exceed limitations of whatever kind, are just fantastic. That is a pure drug that makes your emotions fly”.

“What are the nasty connotations?” Charles asked

“There are people that invade the privacy of others on purpose to spy on them. Whether that is done by a government agency, industry or a person, it simply is not acceptable in my mind! That is the type of voyeurism I utterly despise. I need to be invited to look. I will never forcefully impose myself into another person’s privacy without the consent or invitation from the person I am watching. I even even look away when people kiss each other without explicitly inviting me to watch”.

“Hmmm” mumbled my lover. “Please try to explain it better”.
 

“I often feel that people invite me to watch them as they would go to a doctor or a fortune teller ... to find out who, or how they are by watching my reaction. So they’re dependent on me. I have to engage them. Otherwise there’s no truth or tension. The concentration has to come from me, and I must be involve